The hidden value of Phase 1

Ah, yes. Phase one of structured communication. A chance to ask not-terribly-useful, and oftentimes unfriendly multiple choice questions.

Even if you ask a pointed and unfriendly question, the "correct" answers are usually obvious. At best, a woman might signal a "red flag" in this section that might be worth investigating later.

To me, the answers a woman provides in this section are rarely helpful in helping to understand someone better. They're decent icebreakers, at best.

However, the questions that a woman asks in this section... can be very helpful, indeed.

I can't imagine all of the "clusters" that you might see... but here are some. And when you see a pattern - it can make you pause and think.

The emotionally needy cluster:

• How important is chemistry to you?
• Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?
• When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?
• If you had to characterize the end of most of your romantic relationships, they would be described as:
  

The "I've got a busy life" cluster:

• Would you rather date someone who is (busy, not busy)
• When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?

The "I'm in a hurry to get to the altar" cluster:

• How do you feel about relocating for a relationship?
• Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?
• If you were to marry, how many children would be ideal?

The "star-crossed romatic" cluster:

• Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?
• Your idea of a romatic time would be:
• How romantic are you?
• What do you think of "Soul Mates"?

The "I'm nervous about what you'll think of my weight" cluster:

• What are your body-type preferences for your mate?
• What kind of exercise do you prefer?
• How often do you exercise?

The "I'm dealing with baggage from another relationship" cluster:

• How important is it that your partner be accepted by your family and friends?
• If you had to characterize the end of most of your romantic relationships...
• How trusting are you?
• How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?
• Do you consider yourself a dominant person in your personal life?
• How often do you lose your temper?

Of course, this can't be an exhaustive list... but these lists give you an idea. Again, don't take this too far, and don't jump to conclusions. They're subtle signals about how a woman is relating to you. And they're usually better signs of what a woman is like than how she answers your questions.

Keep it in the back of your mind, and use it as an initial guess as to how you need to relate to her.