War Story: Overgamed and Underqualified, Part 1.

Soon after people start understanding the principles espoused by the seduction community, they're usually very eager to practice their skills. Suddenly, every woman becomes a target - especially the attractive ones.

Unfortunately, people who do this often discover that, although good "game" can build attraction, it doesn't make your target any better.

And, in this vein... here's the beginning to a cautionary tale.

This was one of the first matches I "hooked" when I was starting to get my game together. At first, I wondered if she might be a scam profile - she had one picture (and she did look good), and several lines that were more sexually suggestive than most. (One of the things she couldn't live without was the feeling after orgasm.) But, she did respond to communication.

Slowly. VERY slowly. Requiring a nudge after every single step. And a cocky-funny "no response" letter, followed my closure due to lack of response... where she ended up following me on email.

Luckily, I had a business trip to her city in a few weeks, and she agreed, via email, to a phone call to make arrangements. The phone call was pretty friendly (but not really flirtatious, which isn't my usual phone style), with her asking about what brought me into town, our reasons we tried eHarmony, discussion that we were both divorced (she brought up the subject, and it quickly passed), one unusual question (my birthdate) and into the planning of the date. I offered to meet her for lunch at a Thai restaurant I enjoyed, she agreed, and asked if there was anything planned for the evening... I replied that we could decide after we met. I mentioned that my hairstyle was going to be a little different from the pictures, and the phone call ended with the seduction classic, "Sounds good... At least, I'll have a new friend to say, "Hi" to when I visit (her city), right?" It definitely took her back, and she replied "exactly!"

There was some text banter between them and the date... and at one time (because of her asking for my birthdate), teasingly texted her to ask if there was anything on my background check that I needed to know about. She never responded to that question...

We met on the date - and she looked great. Easily, one of the most attractive people I've been on a date with. The greeting was kind of cold, body language was avoidant and distant. We got to our table, and she pulled a few pages out of her purse, and told me that she looked up our astrological compatibility. I laughed, and said, "I wondered why you asked that. I thought you were doing a background check on me." She replied that she thought my question seemed a little odd... but quickly started to read straight from the page - which described how fundamentally incompatible our star signs were, with her emphasizing my cold, calculating, and emotionally shielded nature. After reading this, she asked me, "What do you think?"

I replied, "Wow. You sure take this stuff seriously."

She laughed, and said, "Well, not really. But do you think that describes you?"

I laughed, and said, "No...", and told her that most people think I'm pretty much a "cards on the table" kind of guy. Her body language softened somewhat, there was some light touch... things started to get better after that point. When desert time came, I told her that there wasn't much offered here... but there was a chocolate place up the road. She told me that she could only eat white chocolate... but okay. We walked there, I offerred my arm, she took it quickly and smiled broadly. She started complimenting me on my new haircut, asked if I liked how she looked (indicators of interest, folks...), and I tossed in some self-depricating humor about how much could be done with what hair I had left...

We got to the Chocolatier... The body language was mixed. At times, warm, at times, avoidant. I was having trouble making sense of it. Into the conversation, she noticed that I had a chocolate stain high up on my pants, she got some ice water from the counter, and started to clean it.

Despite the mixed picture I was getting from her body language, I figured she's got to be pretty comfortable if she's cleaning a stain that high on my leg. Thinking through the possibilities on what might work to "cut through" the defense... I went with Mystery's kiss close - I asked, "So, do you want me to kiss you?", she acted somewhat surprised and said, "What kind of question is that?", I replied, "Let's find out", and went for it.

We made out for a couple of minutes, and she broke, saying, "I've got to breathe. I'm seeing stars." I jokingly said back, "Breathing is good", gave her a few minutes, we went back at it again.

I walked her back to the train station after that, she asked about another time, I said I'd check my schedule when I got back home, and I'd call her. Kiss goodbye, date ended.

Do you think that went well? Not really. And you'll see why, in part 2.