I'll have to admit, I really didn't provide any specific questions to ask.
I have a number of reasons. First of all, this website is building a pretty active audience. And if a lot of them are using the same "original" questions... they're not original anymore.
Also... I'm kind of attached to the questions that I ask. I'd like them to keep working well for me.
Well, some members have left some interesting comments. "Net Penguin" actually suggested a couple of books for question ideas.
I was intrigued. I looked them up on Amazon.com.
Sure enough... one of his suggestions is (somewhat) readable online. You can take a look here
.If you don't want to pay for the book... just click on "Look inside", and tell it to "surprise me!". You'll be able to read random pages in the book.
Of course, this is Saywell & McFarlane's "If... (Questions For the Game of Life)", and not Scott Grey's "Book of Phase 3 questions." Some of these questions aren't appropriate for phase 3. Reread my phase 3 advice, and make sure that you choose questions that meet my criteria for "good questions".
But, if you need some ideas to get your creative juices flowing... this is a good start.
1 comment:
Hahahhaa.... and I was really looking forward to the first edition of Scott Grey's "Book of Phase 3 questions!" :)
But back to business, I think the real trick is calibrating correctly... of course this is WAY easier in real life than on-line but on-line you can definitely get some cues on what's working and what's not.
Also I think understanding your audience is key. If you can read their personality profile (sometimes you can... but most often not) that's great and you can adjust your approach. Otherwise you need to really pay attention to the interactions and which direction/questions to use. This is just my experience.
The great thing about online is that you have an ample test bed to try different things. Test, test, test with what techniques work best FOR YOU... as the old adage goes: your mileage may vary...
Also as one person mentioned before a lot of this is MENTAL GAME (INNER GAME), how you choose to respond to a certain response/reaction will exude to your future actions/interactions. Like most motivational speakers will say, confidence comes form the inside out... so getting your head right is literally step one.
I think during the first month it's pretty brutal, cause people take things too serious... hey why did they close me, what do they mean they want to pursue other matches, etc, etc...
Don't take it personally, one way to see this that I heard from someone before is that they didn't REJECT you... only REJECTED what they know of you at that point (a mere perception of you). It's their loss of not getting to know the real you.. that's fine there's plenty of people that DO WANT to get to know you... and they are just a click away!
Also just have fun with it... eH is just one of a zillions of ways to meet people... that's all it is... it's NOT the great LAST CHANCE before being condemned to a life of solitude and loneliness.
Best hunting!
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