Got a sticking point? Relax.

Everyone here has sticking points on eHarmony.

Some people have their problems in the beginning - in getting people to respond to their profiles.

For others, it's getting the phone number. Or getting her to kiss you. Or overcoming her defenses in having sex "too soon".

And it IS important to know what your sticking point is. But, in some ways, knowing what your sticking point is creates another problem.

When people recognize that they have a problem... they visibly "try harder" to overcome it.

People having sticking points in their "about me" profiles overcompensate in many ways. By becoming more inoffensive, by adding obvious attention-grabbing "tricks", or becoming overly cocky. Some of these things are okay, but when they become obvious (rather than subtle), it displays insecurity.

When people have trouble getting phone numbers - they start to act like it's a big deal to get one. And the request doesn't look casual. When it stops looking casual, her defenses are raised, and she doesn't feel comfortable providing it. Same with the first kiss. Or any other step along the path.

So, if you've got a sticking point... the first order is to relax a bit. Try to make the next step look natural and fun. Because, when you look uncomfortable... a woman will wonder why.

(Oh, and an apology to loyal readers for the lateness of this entry. Thanks for your patience.)