When the earliest members of the internet pickup artist community began their experiments, they focused on what people needed to do to in order to get laid by the hottest women they could find in the bars.
But, when you restrict yourself to the "hotties", you develop rules that work on the "hotties". But may not work so well with others.
To take an extreme example? The rule, "Don't buy drinks for a woman". For a woman who's 9 or 10... this rule is valid. Lots of guys buy drinks for them, and when you join the herd, you've become a disposable tool. But when someone isn't all that hot... it's less common. And buying a drink may get some attention. (Of course, with a woman like this, a confident and friendly "Hello", and some interesting conversation will probably work just as well.)
The same thing goes with some of the tools I've elaborated upon. They're good for women who are attractive. But, if a woman doesn't feel like she's very (conventionally) attractive, you can get a self-esteem meltdown using these techniques.
So, how can you calibrate the system? Here's a rough guide.
First - calibrate yourself. Rate women on www.hotornot.com , and keep going until you can tell what ratings women usually earn.
If she doesn't show pictures - treat her like an 8 or above. The most common reason people don't show pictures is because they're not motivated... and little can be done to attract such people. The second most common reason is because they're hot, and tired of the attention that their pictures earn them.
Here's a rough guide on how I'd calibrate technique:
5 or below: Women are VERY fragile. Be VERY friendly. Don't show any disinterest, let her know that she's starting to meet your standards. Still, don't gush with the compliments, and don't act like she's a sure thing. Don't ask hard questions. I'd use a sincere compliment, and a comment on what you have in common instead of an "observe and challenge" in the open communication template.
6-7's : Be friendly. One hard question per phase AT MOST. Never be critical. Don't show any disinterest, show some genuine interest and curiosity. Imply (but do not state) that she's starting to meet your standards. Don't tease. Go with an "observe and challenge", but be a LOT more funny than cocky.
8's : Standard technique.
9-10's : Good job in attracting their attention. Ask hard questions, but don't be outright critical. Don't let her think she's winning. Let her know that you've got a lot of other women chasing you... but you haven't met the right person yet. Make 'em work to reel you in.
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2 comments:
Ha, what an awful suggestion! Hotornot.com. Jeez, send a man who's not overly fixated on popular beauty and train him to think like everyone else. As if there weren't enough pigs in the world. Hell, some of the men I work with would cut their arm off just to talk to a (often skanky) "pretty" girl.
Also, you do know that people tend to end up with people of similar attractiveness, right? So what's the point of teach someone how to go after 5s and 10s? I guess if you're just trying to sleep with them, it doesn't matter and your chances might be OK. This is starting to become eerily close to the pick-up artist thing, which I don't think is unintentional. So creepy.
Hmm. I left a post with the observation that women who are less conventionally attractive tend to be quicker to reject men who don't show that they "like" them. Something that I wish WASN'T true, but seems to be true nonetheless.
In response, your post suggests that healthy men will be corrupted by spending 10 minutes on hotornot.com (and not by news media which spends way too much time talking about how awful Britney Spears is for gaining weight after having two children), calls women she (probably) doesn't know very well "skanky" (in spite of the fact that she's seen these "skanky" women reject advances from people who didn't treat her with respect), says women don't "lower" themselves to end up with less-attractive men... I could go on.
I'll let my readers decide who has the issues here.
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