Nudge, Nudge...

Hmm... looks like I never talked much about eHarmony's "nudge" feature. I need to fix that...

As well-versed eHarmony users know, eHarmony provides an option to send someone a "nudge" if they haven't responded to a communication in seven days. After you press the "nudge" button, an email is sent to the match, and your listing is highlighted with the fact that you send her a nudge.

In my experience - it's occasionally helpful. Attractive women have a lot of people who request communication, and it's easy for your profile to get lost in the shuffle. It's a polite way to draw attention to the fact that she hasn't responded. In particular, when open communication begins, many women don't realize that they MUST write the first message for the process to continue - a nudge sends a clear message.

The only problem? You've got to keep them in your profile for seven days in order to nudge them. Nudging won't help if a woman has an inactive profile. And keeping her on your list may prevent you from getting other matches.

So, generally, I reserve this for people who seem like they're active in the system, and who look promising to me.

Some women, however, are chronically slow. And may require several nudges throughout the process.

I've met a few of these women. Usually, there's a good reason why they aren't able to keep up. They're usually preoccupied - and not really good dating material. Because of this, I've stopped sending second nudges. I close them instead... and open myself to someone who makes themselves more available.