Monday, July 9, 2007

Warning: Some Pickup Techniques Can Be Harmful to your Long-term Game!

Sometimes, you can build something, and it can take on purposes that you never intended...

To some people, this site (as well as our google group) has served as an entry point into the pickup artist community.

Up to a point, this is a good thing. The community teaches some principles that are very important. However, there are some "techniques" that are counterproductive for men who want to build long-term relationships. So, if your goal is a long-term relationship, here's a list of some "traps" in the world of the pickup artists.

Conversations in a Can
The first time you see a magic trick... it can be fun. You watch it, and marvel at the magician's skill in pulling off the illusion.

But, a lot of times, when you see the secret... it's a real let-down. You usually see that it was a cheap, unsophisticated trick. And that the magician demonstrated more showmanship than skill.

The pick-up artist community is heavily influenced by "magic tricks". They circulate a lot of "instant conversations" that can help you generate short-term interest. "Openers" are reliable conversation-starters. "Routines" and "Patterns" are interesting tricks that demonstrate positive qualities - whether it's an exciting life, or the ability to understand one's partner in a deep way.

If you're a pick-up artist, these techniques will work long enough for a woman to have a fling with you. But, over the long haul... women either know, or find out, that they're tricks. And if you can't be that interesting, social, empathic person over the long haul, you're not going to have a successful long-term relationship.

This is why I emphasize - you need to base your hooks upon the positive and intriguing aspects of your own personality.

Shit tests? Or comfort questions?
In the world of the pickup artist, a man is continuously, and persistently, emphasizing to the woman that they are having a relationship "in the moment". If a woman asks about anything other than how she feels and enjoys the moment... it's considered a "shit test".

Because, to a pickup artist, she's bringing up irrelevant concerns. And, in the pickup artist world... asking questions like this is a way for a woman to tell if a man is really the "in-the moment" guy that he says he is.

But, if a woman is looking for someone with potential to be a long-term partner... the cocky and funny dismissal of a real concern will cause some very real problems.

And, yes, you can be an assertive, alpha male when answering difficult questions.

I've tried to say how before... but it wasn't terribly effective. I'll try again tomorrow.

(Oh, and I'll post my war journal tonight.)

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