eHarmony Cracked - Limits of the system

Unfortunately, not everyone can be helped by the eHarmony Cracked system.

This system is designed for people who have, in the past, been able to form healthy relationships... but, for some reason are unable to translate this success to eHarmony or their dating lives.

I imagine that many of the people coming to this blog (and our google group) have had life-long difficulties in forming relationships - both inside, and outside eHarmony.

And they find themselves unable to follow the core principles of eHarmony Cracked.

They can't make themselves look appealing in their profile. Because they have problems identifying who they are, or how they feel. And they feel that they're unworthy of asking others to meet them on their needs or desires.

They can't stop themselves from offering bribes. Because they can't see themselves as ever "good enough" for another person, feel that they can only be accepted by attending to others, or feel like they need to be "needed" in a relationship.

And they can't help but chase women that they don't know. Because rejection (even from a stranger) is just too painful. And, in avoiding rejection, they value other's opinions, and feelings more than their own. Or compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection. Or put aside their own interests, for the sake of others - Even a stranger's. And often find themselves in harmful or demeaning situations, just to avoid that rejection.

Finally, there are those who believe that they, themselves, should be the right guy for everybody. Because they believe that they should be able to convince others what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.

If you're this way... you need to do some serious work on yourself before you're ready for eHarmony. I know. I've been there.

For me, many of my attitudes changed with a lot of hard work from a good therapist. And, although I'd like to have a nationwide network of skilled therapists who could help my readers with their own internal struggles... I'm just a blogger. I have no such resources.

But there is a national group that can be helpful. It's free to use, and it's been very helpful to me in the past. In fact, all of the things I described above were paraphrased from their website.

Codependents Anonymous is an international fellowship of people who are working with each other on their ability to form healthier relationships.

And if you feel like you need help with any of the things I've mentioned... This group can be helpful. Give their website a look, and find a meeting near you.