War Story: The Red Flag Zone

People try to get away with a lot of things... even on eHarmony.

Over the last couple of weeks, I had a match that seemed intriguing at first. She was a professional art photographer. Her essays demonstrated definite intelligence. And, yes, she was attractive - triathlete body and all. Looked promising.

There was a definite delay in her answering Phase 1 questions (she required a nudge)... but after that, phase 2 whipped by quickly.

And there was a delay in answering her phase 3 questions. Another nudge.

Two nudges... hmm. I almost never have to nudge that hard. And, when I did... they were usually uncertain and insecure when I met them.

Six days after the nudge, I had my answers.

And they started to make me feel uncomfortable.

As I've implied, I don't rely upon eHarmony as my only tool to meet new people. Other than "real life", I've also used JDate, a dating website for Jewish folks.

One thing that I've noticed on JDate is that I'd get a lot of attention from older women, with profiles that included such phrases as, "I look and act younger", "People mistake me for someone much younger", and so on.

I can't blame 'em for trying... but when you're looking for the "wife and kids" thing, age is a factor in deciding who I'll date.

Sure enough... this woman's phase 3 answers included multiple references to looking and acting younger. Hmm... why would someone in my age range delay communication, and "leak" insecurity about her age? Red flag raised.

So... I took a closer look at the photos.

They're all black and white.

One of the photos was head-on, with the caption that it was from "my third triathlon".

The head-on photo was perfect. (Wouldn't she have run into the cameraman?) Focus was perfect (while she was moving?). Background was obscured in black - it was absolutely blank. All in all, another red flag. This photo was obviously heavily edited... and probably a posed shot.

And a further examination of the photos... her facial features changed.

I zoomed in on the photos. Definitely photoshopped.

The red flags were flying too hard. I wasn't going to travel an hour away to meet her. It was time to close this match. I just used, "other".

Maybe she's more honest than she seems. I certainly hope so, for her sake.

But I've got other people to pursue. Why waste time and effort meeting her?