The date: Time to build 'em up.

Hopefully, by now, you're successfully luring women into the first date.

It seems like an atypical lure - you're being yourself. You've shown that a few things have sparked your interest... but you're not sold. In fact, you're a little suspicious that she's not who she claims to be. You've still got a million questions. And you've agreed to "meet" out of deference to the fact that you're a busy guy.

In short... you've been pretty harsh.

A lot of people who start reading PUA (pick-up artist) literature will continue to do this... for much longer than they need to. And it's an unfortunate mistake.

Let's take a look at a similar situation. Suppose that you have a new boss at work. He's demanding. You put in long hours for him, and try to make him happy.

If he starts to reward your hard work... you start to treat each other with respect. He values what you contribute, and you respect his standards. And this dynamic helps both of you maintain a good, solid, workplace relationship.

If he starts to become angry, inconsolable, and unreasonable... you start thinking he's an asshole who would be impossible for anyone to please. And, if you have any options available to you, you're going to leave at your first opportunity.

So, when I start on a date... I usually do start with a handshake, rather than a hug.

But if a woman's trying to demonstrate that she's meeting my standards, and she's showing signs of interest, it's time to start passing out the rewards. And considering the antagonistic nature of eHarmony, you probably need to do it quickly.

What self-respecting woman wants to be with an inconsolable jerk?

I'll get more specific next week.