My goals, my perspective

Before I discuss my "game plan" for dates, I think it's important that I talk about what my goals are... and a little bit about what brought me here.

Because, if your goals are different from mine, you will want to change my game plan.

After I returned to dating after my 8 year marriage ended, I found it hard to find dateable people. Online or offline. And, online, I was having a lot of difficulty getting matches to talk with me.

When I did succeed in getting a date, it almost universally ended in the woman implying that there was "no chemistry".

And, for a long time, I languished in the "loser's cycle", blaming women for not appreciating "nice guys" like me.

But, after awhile, I started to realize that there needs to be a solution to the "no chemistry" problem... and that I might be part of the reason for it. And that's when I discovered the pick-up artist community.

For me, the pickup artist community was a resource to help me with the "no chemistry" problem. And, yes, it taught me a lot about what I was doing wrong.

But, although I've appreciated what I've learned, I've never wanted the PUA lifestyle.

Bottom line - I'm interested in meeting the "right" woman. Not in a series of non-relationship hookups. My PUA mentors are doing what's right for them, and I respect that. But it's not a life I want to lead.

So, my "technique" is a hybrid. I use PUA technique to build the initial attraction and chemistry, but try to translate that into a framework where I can evaluate someone for a long-term relationship.

It's a hybrid that works for me. (Or at least, better than I did before I met the community). And if you have similar goals, it will work for you.

But, if you're not interested in a potential long-term relationship, the conduct of your date should be different. Many women feel uncomfortable starting a relationship with a man who's thinking of a long-term relationship. Many PUA techniques are designed to avoid the relationship behaviors and actions that scare these people away.

But... I don't care if they are scared away.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no relationship nazi. Dating is fun, even if you meet people who aren't going to be good long-term partners. And I've met some great friends along the way. But, for me, the goal isn't just doing what it takes to get laid.

... but, if that's your goal, take my dating advice with a grain of salt. Use what's useful, dump what isn't.

Just like I've done with everyone else's material.