Wednesday, March 7, 2007

One early maturity test...

When a man is dating women in order to evaluate a woman's long-term potential, it's often hard to see some important traits until many months have passed. In the beginning, you're mostly evaluating chemistry, and whether you enjoy each others' company... but, let's face it. Everyone is on good behavior in the early stages of the relationship. Early on, it's difficult to tell if someone is capable of making the adult decisions that are necessary for a long-term relationship to thrive.

But, thinking back on a few relationships with women who didn't meet this standard... there was one early sign.

Since the start of the AIDS epidemic, public health has been focusing mainly on condom use. And they should... it's the only form of birth control which affects transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

However, as birth control... It's not so good. Condoms have a failure rate of 12% per year, if they're used perfectly. And very few people do. With "typical" condom use, you're looking at 25% per year.

I don't know about you... but a 1 in 4 chance of an unwanted pregnancy isn't sounding good to me.

I'm not here to lecture about safe sex, or how effective condoms are in preventing sexually transmitted disease. I'm no expert. Educate yourself - there's a lot of material out there.

But, my point is this: If a woman will not go on another form of birth control early on in a sexually active relationship... you have to seriously question her ability to make adult decisions.

Yes, I know. Birth control stinks. You have to go to a gynecologist, and I'm sure it's uncomfortable. Pills can have unwanted side effects. Barriers are a pain. But... in spite of this, mature women make reasonable decisions in birth control every day.

And if she can't make good decisions in birth control... you have to ask whether you want to hang around to see her make other poor life decisions.

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