A model for the long-term relationship

Inspired by reader suggestions (and positive response to "long game" posts), I started to do a little research, to see what models there might be for understanding and navigating the long-term relationship.

Obviously, the pickup artist literature is a bad place to look. Off the top of my head (correct me if I'm wrong, guys?), I can't think of any contributors to the literature who are in healthy marriages. Their contribution (and only contribution) is in how to generate the initial attraction necessary to start a relationship.

But, "failure stories" do get told about how attraction can be lost, if you start compromising yourself, putting the woman on a pedestal, and becoming too much of a "puppy dog".

So... I'm thinking that it's time to expand the models, and provide at least some initial guidance. At least to avoid becoming either a "player for life" (if that's not what you want), or a woman's tool.

Looking at the psychological literature, one decent, well supported model does seem to shed some insight into the structure of the long-term relationship.

To adapt the literature, there seem to be four phases - The "mating dance", the "high period", the "comfort period", and marriage.

The "mating dance"? That's most of what we write about. It's the period where you see if you're attracted to each other, and at least become comfortable enough to realize that there are no obvious and major barriers to a relationship. I'm not going to spend much time on that. In this series, anyway.

I'll talk about the "high period" tomorrow... as well as some theoretical frames to help you navigate it.