Monday, May 21, 2007

How fast should you respond?

You've got your profile tuned, and now, you're getting people to request (and respond) to communication. Good for you!

So, when you get eHarmony's request for communication, how quickly should you respond?

On one hand, if you're using the eHarmony Blog script to get a jump on your competition, and meet her before your competitors... you don't want to ruin your advantage by responding too slowly. If you do that, you lose your competitive advantage to people who may be a little more eager in responding.

On the other hand, you don't want to work too fast, either. You run the risk of looking too desperate and overeager. And, besides, eHarmony communication is pretty intense. Too much intensity, too early, makes women nervous... and more likely to close you.

I've experimented with this a lot. All the way from waiting 1-2 days to respond, to providing answers while the woman is still on-line.

In my experience, the best method has been to pick three set times to log on daily (morning, afternoon, and evening). If a woman requests communication, wait until your next login time, and reply then.

And that's been the "sweet spot" for me.

Coming tomorrow - a REAL research study on on-line "dating". The results may surprise you.

1 comment:

Uncle Fester said...

I know you had a post awhile back about which first questions to ask/not ask, but I can't find it. Some were deemed inappropriate because they exposed emotional baggage, etc.

When a batch "round 1" questions includes crap like "characterize the end of your relationships" and "assess your verbal intimacy", from someone with an otherwise happy and interesting profile... and I'm tempted to just close the match and forget it... is it better to respond quickly? With flip answers? I would be curious to know what folks think about this.