Basically... what does an eHarmony "match" really mean?
If you listen to eHarmony, they'll extol how rare these matches are, how finding these matches is so difficult (unless you use their service, of course), and how a match guarantees a life of married bliss.
Critics of eHarmony, of course, point out that there is very little data to support their claims. eHarmony has only made one study public, and critics point out multiple flaws.
Well... I've met many of my eHarmony matches. And I think the truth is somewhere between these extremes.
On the minus side, I've found that eHarmony does a very poor job of screening whether or not people are ready for a committed relationship. To give you a small list of people I've rejected...
- Many of my matches had a recent divorce, or broken engagement, and still weren't really ready to date.
- Quite a few were looking more for a "father figure", rather than a boyfriend or husband. And extreme dependence is one of my "can't stands".
- One had a chronic illness, and was looking for a husband to support her for the rest of her life.
- Many were consumed with work or family, and couldn't spend enough time with someone to build a relationship with them.
- And, yes, one guy really did lie about his gender.
So, as far as screening for honesty, maturity, and readiness for a committed relationship goes... I'd say that eHarmony is doing a horrible job.
So, why do I stick with it?
Because I don't really depend on eHarmony to set my standards. I use it to introduce me to people. And I make my own judgments.
And I've been introduced to some interesting people. I usually find that I get along well with the people that I'm matched to via eHarmony. At least, in comparison to other online "dating" services.
And, even if they don't meet my standards, they usually turn out to be decent friends.
So... don't believe the hype. It's just another way to meet people. But that's still a very good thing.
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