You've worked hard to craft the perfect "About me" profile. One that shows you at your best. One that's intriguing, strong, and inviting. And you've put up photographs that demonstrate the qualities that you display in your essays.
Bottom line? You've got a great lure, for the right person.
You also have eHarmony's computer-generated, somewhat accurate, unflattering, uninviting, and unintriguing statements about yourself. And, in eHarmony's wisdom, they ask if you want to share it with your matches.
Really... why would you want to do this?
I can't think of any good reasons.
Again, the purpose of the profile is to generate interest. The personality profile does not do this. And I've never had a woman ask me to reveal it. Ever.
And, do yourself a favor. Don't ask for hers, either. It makes you look like you don't have the social skills to figure her out by yourself.
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3 comments:
As I mentioned in response to another post, I share my personality data and in my profile I suggest that others do too. It is a point of common interest - after all, everyone on eHarmony spent considerable time answering the questionnaire, and it is the reason for being matched with someone in the first place.
Some of my data (at least, the version of it that I can see, which I don't think is the same data that my matches see) is dead accurate, some of it not so much. So I can tell my matches about this, and if they are interested enough to read it and write back to ask for clarification, they've invested some time and attention in me.
The data I've read on some of my matches sometimes throws up a red flag or two (e.g. being excessively needy, or a doormat) and I can tailor my questions accordingly.
In short, it's a tool in the eHarmony toolkit and it seems foolish not to use it.
Generally, when I'm THIS harsh, I don't do well. And I've been there. A lot.
In my scheme, "About me" is about building intrigue, and communication is about building suspense and making her feel good in interactions with you. Some screening takes place (people only feel good when they earn respect), but not to a point where people feel demeaned.
In the end... it's just a first meet-up. You don't need to know whether things are going to work ahead of time.
But if your way IS working, stick to it...
"THIS harsh"? "demeaned"? Not sure where you're coming from. The personality profile gives many handy clues about how a person expects to be treated.
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