Tease, don't fight.

Every once in while, an eHarmony match will start flying a red flag during communication.

You're not entirely sure that you're ready to dump her... but you don't want to go further unless she addresses your concerns.

Unfortunately, you've got the perfect set up for a classic fight. You tell her to do something. When someone is told to do something that they don't want to do, their natural reaction is to refuse. And then, someone closes communication.

Are there alternatives to this?

Yes, there are.

Instead of making a demand or accusation... tease her. Exaggerate what her motives might be for refusing. And make a joke of it.

Now, she can't fight about it. Unless she wants to defend the extreme position that you've given her. But she'd look silly doing it. And it'll force her to reexamine the position that she is taking.

It doesn't work all the time, but it works a lot more often than an argument.

I'll provide examples tomorrow...