Spotting the scammers

Unfortunately, where there are men who desperately want to meet a woman... there are rip-off artists ready to take advantage of that desperation.

eHarmony is better than most sites at repelling scammers. The fact that your profile only goes to people who are a personality match, the high cost of the service, and eHarmony's responsiveness to complaints keep the "scam" traffic minimal.

But... some "scam" profiles are still going to be there.

If you run into profiles like these -- don't give your real email address (unless you don't mind getting clogged with spam), and definitely never send money, or accept redirection to unknown websites.

As I see it, there are two types of scammers out there:

The barely-literate scammer

The barely-literate scammer, generally, is not well-educated in US culture or language. They generally provide one photograph, which, on close inspection, will look like it came out of a magazine. It will usually be "exotic" in some way, but not necessarily attractive.

Poor spelling and grammar tend to be common. And characteristics can be bizarre. (My latest one was a 23 year old Jewish Asian doctor.)

If it doesn't make sense... there's a reason. Close, and report your suspicions to eHarmony.

The sophisticated scammer

Some scammers do a much better job of appealing to the "average guy". They will provide great photos, and more than one of them. And they'll look very attractive.

Close inspection of the photos will show that the lighting is perfect. And everything will look like modeling studio quality. Sometimes, they'll put some captions up that try to make the photos look candid. That's a sure sign of a sophisticated scammer at work.

The language will be good, but look for signs of British English. Language will be very inviting, vague, generic, and flirtatious. Sexual references may be present.

These "women" are good, and there are relatively few of them. You can learn a few things about building an "inviting" profile by reading their profiles. But be very cautious when you're communicating with them. Do not give your "real" email address... and all the usual precautions.

And if they ask for money, or for you to go to another website... Report them.