What they REALLY mean when they close you.

In the old days, I made a lot of mistakes on eHarmony. And I got closed a lot.

Looking back at the closures, I've found a "secret language" that women use when they close you.

Sometimes, when women give a reason... they're telling the truth. But other times, they mean something different.

Bottom line: If you're getting one of these messages a lot, think about using my dictionary.

"I don't feel the chemistry is there." = "Your pictures are so hideous, I can't imagine kissing you." If you're getting this a lot, you need better pictures. Like, now. However, in rare cases, this can be like "I think our family backgrounds are too different". But it's usually the pictures.

"I think our family backgrounds are too different." = "You've said something that insults my belief system. And I think you're an antagonistic prick." If you're getting this a lot... start being friendlier. You're being too harsh.

"I have too much happening in my life at the moment." - "Whoa. You're coming on too strong. I'm not ready for the type of the commitment you're asking for." If you're getting this a lot... you're hitting on her too hard. Show interest and intrigue... but let her chase you.

"I don't think our must haves and can't stands fit." - See "I think our family backgrounds are too different."

"I think the physical distance between us is too great." - Unless you've got a real sizable distance, the translation is, "I'm just not that interested." Bump up the intrigue in your profile, if you're getting this one a lot.

"I want to persue other matches at eHarmony." - Rarely, this will be real. Usually... see "I have too much happening in my life at the moment."

"I am persuing another relationship." - See "I want to persue other matches at eHarmony."

"I'm just not ready for the next step." - See "I have too much happening in my life at the moment."

"I am taking a break from dating." - See "I have too much happening in my life at the moment."

"I'd rather not say." - If it's before communication, see "I don't feel the chemistry is there." If you've been communicating, see "I think our family backgrounds are too different."

"This match never responded to my request to communicate." - "I think you're another abandoned profile." You really do need to log in on a regular basis...

"I think the difference in age between us is too great." - If she's older, it's, "Act your age, jerk." If she's younger, it's "You look too old-fashioned to me." If you're getting this a lot... think about the age that you're targeting. If you're aiming for a younger crowd, show your fun and spontaneous side. If you're aiming for an older crowd, show that you're fun, but responsible and mature as well.

"I think the difference in our inner values is too great." - See "I think our family backgrounds are too different."

"Because no photos are posted."- "Get off your high horse, buddy. I'm not going to talk to someone if there's no hope of physical attraction." Really. You need to post photos.

"Because I was put on hold." - This will usually happen when you put a woman on hold. If you're overwhelmed, turn off matches for awhile. Put people on hold only as a last resort, because most of the time, they will close you.

"Because we are communicating outside of eHarmony" - "I left you my phone number or email address. And you were supposed to use it. So stop being a jerk, and contact me like normal people do."

"Other" - Before communication, see "I don't feel the chemistry is there." After communication begins, see, "I think our family backgrounds are too different."