The third open communication letter

You should have a phone number by now. If she asks for your phone number instead, I'd give it to her.

But, what if she doesn't give up the digits? Or if she writes about something completely different?

That would be very unusual. Since I've started this protocol, it's never failed. I've never had to write this letter.

But, I imagine that there are some women on eHarmony who are so self-centered, or so psychologically messed up that they believe that I'll make time for an email communication marathon. In spite of my clear statements that I can't.

This last message will take some bravery. The first few times that you "lay down the line", it will probably create anxiety.

But the only alternative is to accept email hell. And, in the old days, when I tolerated it, It never resulted in an actual meeting.

Time to move on.

First of all: Don't send this letter quickly. Remember - you're too busy to read your email. You need to wait a few days. Three days would probably be too soon. Two weeks might be too late.

For the first few times, while that anxiety is still high, use this letter word-for-word.

"Hi, [insert her name here].

Wow. It's been a busy week. Mostly in good ways, though. I hope your week has gone well.

Anyway, I'm sorry to see that you're not ready to talk to me. That's a pity. You seemed like you might be worth getting to know better.

Unfortunately, I just can't think of any other way for us to talk... I really don't have the time for email [if they mention instant messaging, add 'or instant messaging']. So, I guess we're at an impasse.

So... if you're ready to talk, give me a call at [insert your phone number]. Otherwise... it's been a pleasure to "meet" you.

[insert your name]"

And close the match.

Don't worry. There are a lot more people out there. And most of them will want to talk to you. You owe it to yourself to move on.