The first open communication letter - Part 1

So, let's start writing that first open communication letter.

You should write in your own, personal, casual writing style. However, I'll throw in a few crucial ingredients that you need to stick to, in order to make sure she's going to give up her phone number quickly.

In the first paragraph, I like to include 2-3 things: Pleasantries, reference to a time constraint, and (if they wrote first), a brief response.

Pleasantries
It's just polite to start nicely. Say "Hi." Or Hello, konichi-wa, or whatever. And show some appreciation. Something along the lines of, "I've enjoyed this introduction." Or, "I'm glad we're finally getting to talk like normal people." Or, "Thanks for bearing through structured communication".

After the "Hi", it's one sentence. That's it. DO NOT insert a compliment. (We'll explain how to do it properly tomorrow, in paragraph 2.) Don't say how great she is. Only express a pleasantry - that you appreciate the efforts that have been made so far.

Introduce a time constraint
We've talked a lot about "communication hell", and why it's important to avoid it. The primary reason why people end up in communication hell? Because they're afraid to set a limit on the time they're going to spend in open communication.

You need to show that your time is valuable. And, to do that, you need to explain why you're going to be busy.

Here are some examples (combined with appropraite pleasantries):

"(for when you've blazed through open communication in a single morning) Thanks for making a boring morning at work a little more interesting... but I don't think this slack time is going to last long. I can't write a long message, but...."

"I hope you've had a great weekend. I've been really busy with friends, and have a lot of social engagements keeping me REALLY busy over the next few weeks..."

You get the idea. You're establishing NOW that your time is valuable.

Respond (if she wrote the first message)
After drawing your time constraint, respond briefly to her message. If she asked a lot of questions, don't feel obligated to answer them all. Say you're busy. Use the same principles I advocated in answering questions in structured communication. And write 2 sentences here, at absolute maximum.

Paragraph 2 tomorrow.