To finish your first eHarmony open communication letter, you'll be demonstrating that you've paid attention, that you're showing interest... but you're not quite convinced yet. You'll lay the seeds for the next step, and finally, closing with some "fun" questions.
Let's get started.
Observe, show interest, but challenge
In your next paragraph, you need to show that she's piqued your interest... but you're still not quite convinced.
Take something from her profile (not her photos) that intrigued you, and mention it. But, gently challenge her. Don't insult her. Don't accuse her of lying. You're aiming at a statement that, if you said it in person, would earn you a mock look of horror and a sock in the arm. Not a scowl and a slap in the face.
Some examples?
"You're a triathelete? Cool. I'd like to see if you can beat me in a bicycle race..."
"You're a Harry Potter fan, huh? I like the series too, but, please, don't tell me about the collection of Quidditch cards you hide under your bed."
"So, you like to cook, huh? Excellent. I like to eat. So, I hope your cooking is actually edible..."
Lay groundwork for a phone call
Put in a paragraph break, and put in a sentence (or sentence fragment) alluding that you'd like to talk on the phone sometime. Don't ask for the phone call (or a phone number) yet... you don't want to show you're ready. The stem, "I was thinking that a phone call might be fun, but for now..." is a pretty good one.
Ask some fun questions
Some women are pretty clueless about what to do next. So, you need to bring up some topics for her to write about. The best way to do that is to ask some questions. Preface your questions with something like, "I know we have a million questions to ask each other, but we've already been through some rough interrogation, so here are some fun ones..." And ask one or two questions that are kind of fun. Like what her favorite movie is (or favorite anything, for that matter). Or the most fun thing that she did in the last week. Or what cartoon character/fictional character she most resembles in personality.
Close with a call to action
Time to start a new (short) paragraph. Just leave a quick call for action. Something along the lines of, "I'm looking forward to your reply." Sign, and throw in your email address.
And your first letter is done.
Tomorrow - the second letter.
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2 comments:
What if she failed the "observe and challenge"?
Perhaps I don't understand the purpose of this component of the message.
I gave two matches each an "observe and challenge" in my first OC letter to them. One replied apologetically. The other wrote a retraction.
Frankly, I don't really mind that I caught either of them red-handed on those items. My question is, what do I do next:
* Confront her with 'I'm sorry you aren't making sense'?
* Another observe and challenge?
* Drop it -- the O&C achieved its purpose already.
Thanks!
The easy answer? Move on to letter #2 - you're probably doing OK. And, in future "observe and challenge"s, increase the humor/friendliness, and decrease the cockiness a little bit. But only a little.
I've left you email, if you'd like to look at this in more detail.
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