"Success" on eHarmony ain't all it's cracked up to be...

In the google group, lately, guys are talking about a "problem" that a lot of guys would love to have.

The good news? They're getting a lot of communication. And quite a few dates.

The bad news? None of them are "good enough".

Well, folks, that's about where I'm at too.

I don't have a real answer here. Meeting the "right" person is a matter of being available, meeting lots of people, and being open to the "right" person. It's partly luck. And it's not something that we can control.

Well, maybe if you start meeting the same dysfunctional people time after time, you might want to ask yourself if there's anything in your profile that's subtly calling for 'em. But, if not... everyone has bad runs.

The only thing that you can control? Your attitude.

A date... is just a date. It's meeting someone new for the first time.

It's fun. Enjoy the process.

And if it's clear that she's not the one you're looking for?

Well, at least you've had a fun evening out, and some nice conversation. You got to see the world from someone else's perspective for awhile. And, hopefully, you've picked a date where you'll have a good time - even if she turns out to be a dud.

And if she's so bad that you can't even enjoy her company... just think about how much fun you'll have when you tell the "horror story" to your friends.

You can't make bad women better. And the only thing you can do is figure out how to enjoy the ride.

BittenChick adds:
Scott's post makes me think of the saying "cast a wide net", which goes hand-in-hand with another idiom that's often related to dating and mating: There are always more fish in the sea.

But in order to hook your honey, you have to throw out the right bait to make a quality catch (and with that, I think I've run this metaphor right into the ground!) Seriously though, one of your eH matches may be everything that you're looking for, but the spark just isn't there. And likewise, your unique traits and qualities may qualify you as "perfect" in one woman's eyes and just "ho-hum" for another.

Scott's remedy -- being available, being social, and being open -- is great because it's exactly what you need to keep from getting frustrated and discouraged with the process. I only wish, from my own experience, that more men were open to being friends if the romantic chemistry isn't there. When I suggested this once, a few days after a lackluster date, I received the terse reply of "I don't need any more friends." Well you're right buddy, I thought to myself. What you need is an attitude adjustment!

To me, there's nothing better than opposite-sex friendships, because who better to give you insight on dating and relationships than someone who's within the demographic that you're looking to attract? And that little bit of sexual tension that rides right under the surface of a guy/girl friendship is always fun as well. I'm not saying "friends with benefits" or "booty calls" are recommended, but what's a little harmless flirtation between friends?

If you go into every date with an optimistic attitude and an open mind, you'll be legions ahead of your competition -- many of whom will show up on a date looking dour and discouraged before greetings are even exchanged. If there's no attraction, maybe you'll have made a great friend. And if she's a nightmare, at least you'll have great fodder for your dating blog! (You really should try it, I love reading about the dating triumphs and disasters of eHarmony Cracked readers!)

So as Scott suggested, just relax, have fun, and enjoy the ride. Or if you prefer, enjoy the swim in the sea ... ;-)