Listening to newsradio the other day (as I often do), I had a chance to listen to an interview of the woman who wrote the book, "Turn Your Cablight On".
Don't get me wrong here. I haven't read the book. And I don't know if it's any good. But it did make me think about some of the mistakes people make in dating, and in their eHarmony profiles.
As time goes on, I find myself disliking the term "online dating" more and more.
It's not dating. It's meeting people.
It's like going to a party, talking to a few people, and seeing what happens. Remember - you start at "Phase 0" of the attachment model. You haven't even committed to considering someone a decent friend yet.
But, even at this point... people have their guards up. Way up. And they are quick to judge someone as worthy or unworthy of communication.
Folks, it's just communication. Why set the barriers so high?
Even if you find that she's not right for you... why do you have to make conversation unpleasant, or demanding?
G-d forbid, you might have some fun in talking to someone new and different. Even if she's not the one.
And if she is the kind of person that you're looking for?
Do you really think that she'll want to talk to someone who is being hostile? Or is so agenda-oriented that he can't have fun talking to her?
Yes, when you actually become busy, you will have to cut people off your list arbitrarily. You probably won't be able to meet everyone. And that's fine.
And if you're at a point where you're considering a committed relationship, you should think carefully.
But, before then... have fun.
Think about it. If you were a cab driver, would you get more business if you gave people a 30 minute lecture about how to behave? Or would you just turn the cablight on, and deal with the problems as they come?
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