The Attachment Model, Phase 4

Well, folks, it's time to return to our long-term relationship oriented "Attachment model".

As we've noticed, couples in Phase 3 are getting pretty comfortable. They're realizing that they can fulfill a lot of their needs for mirroring, idealization, and kinship.

Now, can anyone fulfill these needs perfectly?

Of course not. And that's what Phase 4 is about.

It's about recognizing the fact that your partner isn't perfect.

And often, you're fighting about the failures that occur.

But, in the end, the fantasy that you've met the perfect man or woman to fulfill these needs starts to fade away.

But, if you've come through Phase 4 successfully - you realize that s/he doesn't have to be perfect.

And you realize that what you do have is pretty damn good.

This phase usually occurs from 6 months to one year into a relationship.

And it's where most people can honestly say that they're in love.

So where do you go from here?

We'll conclude the phases of the attachment model tomorrow.