Phase 3: Trying mutual reliance

Okay, we've given the "attachment model" a few day's break. Let's return for a day... (And, if you're catching up, check out the "Long game" label.)

In phase 2 of my attachment model, you've learned a lot about each other. You know each other pretty well. And you've started, cautiously, to place your trust in each other.

Phase 3 is a natural extension of Phase 2. You're each getting comfortable in meeting your basic social needs of mirroring, idealization, and kinship. And you're genuinely feeling that the other person is a safe person get these things from.

So... in phase 3, you're giving things a real chance. And you're starting to rely upon each other to fill these needs.

And, when it's working... it feels great. And those who are new to the feeling of love will usually say, "I love you" in this phase.

But, of course, even the perfect partner will fall short of perfection with mirroring, idealization, and kinship.

... And that's what Phase 4 is about.

And I'll talk about that on Friday.