Why "dirty talk" will reduce your chances of meeting.

There's one aspect of "Pre-date banter" that I've neglected to mention. And it's a common error.

The fact is, women online get TONS of guys hitting on them. Willing to say, or do, anything that might help them get into their pants.

Unfortunately, when men do this... they look desperate. They look like they're just looking for anyone who might be willing to fill that urge. And, frankly, it's not an attractive attitude.

That's why it's always been a core eHarmony Cracked principle - you need to show that you're not on the prowl. You're not making sexual advances to people you haven't even met. Because a woman has to demonstrate that she's worthy of that attention.

And, when you make that clear, women are much more comfortable meeting with you. They don't fear that they'll have to beat you away. And the fact that they have to work for your attention is a core principle for developing your attraction.

So, obviously, displaying overt sexual interest is not helpful in predate banter.

But, what if she starts to get saucy?

Best case scenario? She's interested. But if you get a woman too hot, too quickly, it's a scary thing for a woman. She doesn't want to face an awkward situation if she doesn't like you in real life. And hot email banter usually leads to flakiness when it comes to meeting. It's too much pressure, especially considering the fact that you haven't even met yet.

Worst case scenario? There are a lot of women who try to build their self-esteem by having men "want" them online. But, again, meeting these men in real life is extremely scary. So... they flake.

So, even if a woman initiates the sexual innuendo, it's still best not to advance it.

In fact, the best thing to do? Shut her down in a cocky and funny way.

Something like, "Hey, speedy. I don't blame you for wanting me... but I'm still not sure I like you that way, yet. Why don't we meet first, and go from there?"

After all, women are attracted to the men they have to work for.

Not the ones who try to get sex from women that they don't even know.