As I've mentioned before, when you're at a point where transitioning to the "make out session" on the first eHarmony date is common... Women will start shit-testing you.
The predictable question I get? "So, do you do this on all your eHarmony dates?"
My typical answer? Usually something along the lines of "Only when the chemistry's there." That usually worked fine.
This weekend, I tried something different. And it worked even better.
And, I'm surprised I didn't think of it before. It's an elegantly simple solution...
Ask her the question first.
Try it out. Let me know how it works for you.
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3 comments:
Hmmm ... Maybe it's just me, but if a guy asked me that question, I'd be very taken aback. Knowing what I know now, I'd recognize it as a "neg" and as an attempt to lower my value, but it would still be irritating, especially if he was the one who initiated the making out.
I know that some gals might use a question like that as a shit test, but I can see others asking it as a means of figuring out whether the kissing will lead to future dates, or if it's just an attempt at getting them into the sack. While the quality of guys on eH seems to be much higher than on Match and other sites, there are still players out there and most women have been susceptible at some point or another. Just another way of looking at things ...
I hope most people would have enough confidence not to ask that question though. It's just good times till you make it mutually exclusive, I say! ;-)
Ah. It's hard to explain tone and timing in writing.
It's not a "neg". (I'll skip the technical reasons why for our non-PUA-literate readers. For the literate - it's time to build comfort after making out - and it's DEFINITELY not a place for a neg.) It's a tease. Done with a playful smile and wink.
And, in the end, achieves the same purpose - letting each other know that it DID mean something. (Not a lot, mind you, but something.)
But this way? It's a little more fun and lighthearted, IMHO.
I admit, the "fun" may not make it's way into the written word that well. :-)
I'm not trying to be difficult, honestly (well okay, maybe just a bit, haha!) But why is it a shit test if it comes from the girl and a playful tease if it comes from the guy? ;-)
I'm glad you've done articles on shit tests, Scott -- up until reading your site I'd never heard of them and I recognized them to be something I've subconsciously thrown out there in the past, which I'm definitely trying to avoid now.
... And if I got that question myself, hopefully I'd come up with cheeky reply like "yes, and you're the fifth one tonight -- my tongue can't handle this much excitement!" ;-)
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