PUA's? Don't hate eHarmony...

As I've previously implied, eHarmony is mostly ignored by pick-up artists. That's not a bad thing.

I'm not an eHarmony evangelist. For me, it's been a decent way to meet new people. But, if you've got more efficient ways to get what you want, I don't see why eHarmony is necessary.

But some PUAs won't leave well enough alone. Here's the latest missive I've read. Actually, its from a guy I respect - he's taught me a lot about developing attraction online. But, in one of his most recent newsletters, he goes full-bore against eHarmony. Let's take a look.

This one may surprise you.

If you haven't seen this Time Magazine article yet,
you need to check it out:
http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1638344_1638341,00.html
Here's why:

It talks about the 5 worst sites online and GUESS
WHAT?

One of them happens to be an online personals
website - which doesn't surprise me. In fact, they
call this site the "WORST DATING WEBSITE"!

Quite an honor, don't you think?

Here's a hint: It's very popular among "the masses",
they're on TV all the time and they ask you like 436
questions BEFORE you sign up.

Figure it out yet?

eHarmony.

Oh, yes, the "Time Magazine" argument. He'll repeat Time's arguments soon enough. But, one thing he seems to forget... He uses MySpace a lot. Which was also prominent on Time's "Worst Websites" list. And treated just as unkindly for it's spamminess.

But, spamminess isn't a waste of time to this PUA...

Let's say you have the patience to sit at your
computer for 4+ hours answering all 426 questions...
after working all day.

(unlikely, I know)

[...]

Every day I get another horror story about how
someone goes on that site, spends HOURS upon
hours of their time only to get lousy results.

[...]

Meeting women online is supposed to save you
time, not waste it.

Sorry. Every system has it's inefficiencies.

At standard personals sites? Yes, I can meet women quicker. But I'm only going on pictures (which are deceptive half the time), and what they say their personality is like. (Which, again, often doesn't reflect reality.) So... I'm spending a lot of my time and energy on crappy dates.

On eHarmony, I spend a little more time on the questionnaire. But, in general, I meet people that I relate to. And, even if the chemistry isn't there (which it often isn't, no matter what online service you use), they usually end up being decent friends. So, in the end, I find eHarmony to be a more efficient use of my time.

What happens when eHarmony delivers it's
"recommendations" to you which are from women
you either AREN'T interested in or attracted to?

That's actually the nicest way I've seen a PUA express that sentiment. I'll answer that question.

I close them. It only takes a couple of seconds. And I'll never see them again.

But on standard sites? The undesirables will always be on my list. And I'll still have to page through them to view the profiles of the women who do attract my interest.

Who's wasting more time now?

Let's move on...

Or better yet, what happens if it REJECTS you as
"unmatchable"?

(talk about a real bummer)

Honestly, I don't hear that from too many people. Most of eHarmony's rejections are from people who give inconsistent answers on their profile, admit to multiple personal problems, aren't yet divorced, or are seeking homosexual relationships.

So, yes, if you're unstable, you're running the risk of being rejected.

The good news? If you're a stable man, looking for a heterosexual relationship... you're not wasting your time on people who can't meet eHarmony's (rather minimal) standards.

Again, I'm giving the advantage to eHarmony.

And let's say you pony up the $60 a month to be a
member...

(Which btw is more than double the price of 99%
of other online personals sites monthly fees.)

Too bad you couldn't wait to join. Because if you did, they'd give you a 3 months for the price of one code. Making it one of the cheapest personals sites.

Hey, it's a slimy tactic. But they're a business, after all.

Finally, he comes down to the core of his beef against eHarmony...

Now, I'm going to freely admit that I spent
HUNDREDS of dollars of my own money on the
very same site the article is talking about.

And yes for the record, my results flat out sucked.

There we go.

I actually respect the writer. I've learned a lot about how to manage standard personals sites from him. And some of his "spices" (in the proper times and measures) can work well on eHarmony. But, adaptations need to be made. And, once you make them, I, and many of my readers have found the eHarmony system usable. It just requires a different set of skills.

And, judging from my readers... those skills seem to be teachable.