About the "spices"...

It seems, lately, I've been including comments about "spices", but haven't really explained the concept.

In some ways, I like the cooking metaphor a lot.

If you want to cook a dish, you need a good, solid base.

In the dating arena, the base is your personality. At it's best. Displaying confidence, intrigue, and a sense of fun and playfulness.

And without a solid base... you won't do well.

Now, "spices" are things that, done correctly, can enhance the main dish. They can bring out flavors. They can make the dish a little more interesting and fun.

But, spices have their limits.

First of all, you can't make a dish out of spices alone. If the base isn't there, the spice may create a brief distraction, but no sense of nourishment.

Next, the spices need to compliment the main dish. Garlic is a great spice - but it doesn't go well with ice cream. And if you use a "trick" that's incongruous with your personality... your date may walk away confused. Possibly with a bad case indigestion.

Finally, you can't go crazy with spices. You use a little bit. Once in awhile. Just to give things a little nudge in the right direction. When you use too much, it becomes overpowering. In the dating field, you look like a "trick monkey" - a guy who's trying to hide his personality behind a bunch of "cute" tricks.

But, done right, spices can be a good thing. But don't overuse them. And don't neglect the base.

... And may your meal be perfectly spiced this Thanksgiving.