Pulling back - A useful tool.

Many times, on this blog, I've mentioned how "trying too hard" when a woman is pushing away usually leads to bad results.

Some of you may be asking, "What happens when you do the opposite? What happens if you push away, instead of trying to pull her toward you?"

It can work well.

For example, in one of my last trips to a major city (with a decent Jewish population), I had mentioned to an eHarmony match that I was coming, and talked about meeting. She replied that she'll "see".

"Pushing" would be continuing to write her, turn on the charm, tell her about how much fun you're going to have, various logical persuasions... allineffective strategies.

I did something different. I told her that it seems "kinda silly" to set aside time to meet her, if she wasn't sure. I mentioned the time that I had available, and told her to email me when (and if) she can make it. And once she does that, I'll let her know if I'm still open.

She committed to a time within an hour. I guess she didn't like the idea of my time (potentially) going to someone else.

There are risks to this strategy, however.

First of all, if she's not interested in you at all, this won't work. But neither does anything else. But, at least you're not wasting any more of your time or energy.

Next, if you use this "spice" too much, it's easy to send her into a "sour grapes" zone.

Finally, if she's that problematic, you're running the risk of securing a date with a screwed-up woman. (And I'll have to admit, she didn't impress me at all during the date.)

But it's a useful tool, nonetheless.