So, we know what we want to accomplish during pre-date banter. How do we structure the conversation so we stay on focus?
A couple of factors that will swing the tables in your favor...
Stick to text messaging. Or email, if that won't work.
Text messaging creates an illusion of intimacy. You've, technically, got instant access, and can surprise her when she's going about her day. Yet, it's not intrusive... and there's no pressure to answer messages quickly. And messages have to be short, because they're a pain to type in. And, when you keep messages short, it helps you maintain intrigue.
In second place (if text messaging is too expensive for the two of you) would be email. The major disadvantage of which is that it encourages longer messages. But it's still very usable.
Don't use the phone. It's too easy for a woman to plead for a change in the rules over the phone.
Make it a game
I'm a big fan of games during this period. Games have rules. Rules can be put in place that enforce the principles of pre-date banter. And you can tease her when she tries to break the rules. So... you're not forced into a place you don't want to be before the date.
So, if I like to use games in pre-date banter, what are my favorites?
I'll give you two of my favorites over the next couple of days.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Text messaging? I'm in my late 30's and while I do barely know how to text message, I wouldn't think of interrupting my work day to do it. And I wouldn't want to date anyone who thought emails or texts during the day were cute or even acceptable, before any kind of relationship even existed! If I received one, I'd probably cancel the date and close the match instead. Are we in different generations? Or wildly different professions? e-Harmony is strictly an off-hours activity for me.
Does anyone else read this blog? I seem to be the only one posting comments...
I'm in your age range, and so are most of the women I date. And I date a lot of professional women. I haven't run into any problems.
If she sends you an email or text during work? Wait until after work to read it or answer. I don't know anyone who's objected.
You shouldn't feel compelled to provide a quick answer, anyway. You lead a busy life. You control the pace of your response.
Oh, by the way... statistics are that only 0.1% of blog readers leave comments. I'm working on something that will be a little more "interactive"... more about that soon.
(Don't worry - it's an addition to the blog, not a replacement.)
Maybe I wasn't clear enough. The woman I'm looking for should be professional enough that e-Harmony activity would not even enter her mind during the day. I've yet to get a message sent through eHarmony's system during "working hours". If I did, that would raise a serious yellow flag. Even it that reduces my pool quite a bit, or causes the "I'm too busy" problem that I have ranted about elsewhere.
I don't give out my business information until a serious relationship forms. A mere eHarmony contact isn't going to get my full 24/7 electronic availability (email addresses, cell phone numbers, text messaging). Is that too old-fashioned? Maybe it is.
Well, I'm holding firm about not doing eHarmony at work. However late last week a match in OC did send a phone number which Google shows to be a department phone number at a public facility. There's just no way I'd call a number like that, looking for someone whose last name I don't even know. Seems pretty inconsiderate to ask me to communicate with her that way.
I replied - not admitting that I'd looked up the number of course - but advising her that if it was a work number, that eHarmony communication was strictly an off-hours activity and I would not want to distract her from her work. And left it at that.
This match has claimed to have been busy for the last two weekends (she offered this info even though I've made no urgent request to meet yet), and hasn't shown any real interest - hasn't asked any real questions about me although my profile and 2nd Answers give plenty of things to ask about. She hasn't replied to my last OC for a week now. Maybe she's put off by my unwillingness to "pursue" or to comply with her directions. But hey, I'm busy during the day. I told her so.
I guess I'll leave her open through the weekend before sending her a short final OC like "Sorry to see that you aren't interested in further communication." and closing.
End of rant.
Post a Comment