Friday, June 15, 2007

Don't let your photos blend in with the crowd...

I've already told you that one way to separate yourself from the "typical guy" on eHarmony is to provide photos that generate intrigue, and demonstrate your positive qualities.

Many guys on eHarmony actually try to do this.

But, when they do... they use the same "interesting" photos that everyone else uses.

And when your photo shows the same scene that everyone else's does... it's not interesting. It's a cliche. And it makes you look just like the other people who are swarming for womens' attention.

So, what are some of the common cliches?

Overused vacation pictures
The only time to use a vacation picture is when you've got something truly interesting.

Pictures on the beach are not interesting. They're cliche.

Pictures with vague backgrounds, with only a caption to describe the exciting place they're at... another cliche.

Pictures in the wilderness - cliche.

Lame social pictures
If you have an interesting social life, you should demonstrate it in your photos. It's a positive trait.

But, if the gatherings you go to are ordinary and typical... don't post 'em.

Family pictures? Unless there's something unusual and interesting that you're demonstrating... forget them. Cliche.

Formal occasions? One formal photo might be okay, if you look really great, or you're doing something interesting. But if not... it's a cliche.

Office parties? Random pictures in vague places with friends? Yawn.

Bottom line? If you want your photos to stick out - don't use the same settings that everyone else does. Or she'll associate you with the hordes of people who aren't worth talking to.

4 comments:

Uncle Fester said...

Many of my matches post pictures of a group, and she doesn't bother to identify herself! I guess she assumes that she knows who she is, so I should too.

Many post pictures that are so small or low-res as to be useless. A good many have an eerily disembodied hand on her shoulder, the rest of the brother/boyfriend/parole officer/etc. having been cropped out.

I don't need posed pictures. Hell, I don't even need terribly interesting pictures. But the quality of most of what I see shows practically no effort or thought about what the prospective matches will see and what questions they'd be inspired to ask.

Uncle Fester said...

With all your comments about most pictures being "cliche", now I have no idea what the point of your post really is. I live an ordinary life, I go to ordinary places and I have ordinary pictures. I have no idea what would be perceived as interesting, according to your guidelines.

R3dcurlz said...

I'd say one of the most important things is to either avoid pictures with attractive women (one guy included a picture of him with some Hooters girl) or at least caption them out as your sister or cousin. Any closer relationship and junk it. And young girls need to be specified as daughters or nieces.

I'd say the best pictures (and please have more than one!) are you in some sort of activity or with your boys or family, looking happy of course. Smile, please. And at least one where your face is clearly visible and discernible. I want to have a chance of recognizing you when we meet.

Of course, I'm now dating a guy who only had one picture of him all wrapped up in coat and hat on top of a mountain, face in the shade. I could barely tell that he had more of a grimace than a smile. Basically it just proved that he existed and nothing more except that once he'd been on top of a mountain.

Uncle Fester said...

I have 3 pictures posted. One is on top of a mountain. One is cropped out of a family portrait. And one is a self-picture in my yard. They're all clear, they show that I'm in shape, and they aren't from happy-hour or other dates with women cropped out of them. I'm happy with them, of the few pics I have of myself they're the best of the bunch.

But according to Scott they're "cliche". Seems like _everything_ is, according to his post. I don't get his point, I don't see what wouldn't be "cliche" to him.