"As a way of showing indifference, and as a clear alternative to begging a match to respond, what is your opinion on being quick to close slow movers? Making them demonstrate interest by delivering an ultimatum, which requires them to ask to be re-opened. It's drastic to be sure."
Sigh. There's a general rule - when one person says something... he speaks for a lot of my readers. Maybe I've been less than clear on a very important point. I'll try it one more time.
Your job, in your profile and in your communications, is to generate interest.
If a woman is interested in you, she'll chase you. And she won't dare to delay communication. Or refuse a phone call. Or flake on a date.
If a woman isn't moving things forward, there's one of two things going on:
- She's read what you had to say... and she's not all that interested.
- She's a nutcase. Or she's preoccupied with other things.
And if she's not interested, you need to find someone that is. Quit wasting your time with her, and invest your time on women that show some interest.
If no one is showing interest, you need to figure out why. It will help you with your later matches. But it's too late to "fix" the ones that aren't interested.
Never, ever, ever even try to chase women. It never works. Ever.
So, yes, if a woman isn't moving forward, close them.
And, no, don't expect them to beg you to reopen them. They're just not that interested.
And you'll forget about her completely after you start talking to women who are showing interest.
2 comments:
You've been way clear on your central theme of generating interest. I get it, and it makes sense. You've changed my perspective on the entire eHarmony process.
My problem is that I've yet to see your techniques (or my previous ones which were no doubt doomed from the start) actually work. As I wrote in my other comment, I honestly believe that eHarmony is matching me with women that are so shy, busy, and/or confused that they simply are not capable of reacting as you think they should.
Now you may be thinking, "Come on, Fester! You haven't gotten _one_ match to show interest? It must be _you_, you need more practice as this." That may well be so, and this week I will decide whether it's worth the bother. This experience has affected the way I think about people and about myself, and I'm not sure I'm pleased about that.
Another "from the lab" finding.
I sent a first OC message to a match (she had initiated the communication, so I got to start OC) Thursday evening. The system printed a message with the time and date and I saved it to my log file for that match. Late Saturday I noticed that the match had jumped to the top of my All Matches list. From watching how the system works, this indicated some sort of activity... but what? Last night I looked at the match detail again and eHarmony now claimed that I did not send the message until mid-day on Saturday.
Customer Service has confirmed that the apparent change in the sending date really indicates that the match read the message.
More evidence to prove that you can watch what your matches are (or aren't) doing, by keeping your open match list small, monitoring activity timestamps, and watching for changes.
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