Introducing yourself... over long distances

As many of you know, my search for Jewish women has brought me pretty far away from my home town - most of my matches are a three hour drive.

So, occasionally, I get the question, "How do you manage your matches, with the distances that are involved?"

I haven't tried to answer this question with the same rigor that I test other eHarmony techniques, but here are some things that I think work.

First of all - realize that a lot of women won't be interested in considering you because of the distances involved. You'll get rejected a lot. That's to be expected. Heck, if I was a woman, and I had a lot of prospective guys living closer to me... I probably wouldn't respond to women living three hours away either.

But, as I always say, "There are two types of people out there. Those that will accept the distance, and those that won't. Focus on the ones that will."

If they're responding to my communication... I assume that they've read where I live. And, as far as I'm concerned, doesn't need to be discussed further during email. Again, at this phase, women should be treated with a Phase 0 mindset - that you're still figuring out if you like them or not. You're not ready to consider the "How will we manage the distance as a couple" question yet.

As far as arranging that first date is concerned... I usually like to visit the big city that's three hours away from my home. And I keep up with things that I'd like to go to. That way, when a date crops up, I can casually mention that I was planning to visit in order to catch the event... and casually invite her to meet up before I go to the venue.

On one other occasion, I found a venue between our homes. And, yes, she agreed to meet me halfway. (Actually, somewhat better than halfway for me.) So far, I haven't tried to arrange first meetups in my hometown, because, frankly, I enjoy my trips to the other city. But I've heard of pickup artists who refuse to meet with women outside of their own home cities... and have been successful in making them come over for the meetup.

And, that's how I get through the first date.

And how do I manage a long-distance relationship?

I take it one step at a time. Just like any other relationship.