"Four times as much communication?" I wish...

For awhile, eHarmony has put up banner ads on it's site, in it's attempt to inform people about their ability to declare a preference for fast-track.

Actually, I'm pretty happy that they're trying to make fast-track requests seem more normal.

But, in these ads, they cite a statistic that caught me off-guard.

According to the ads, people who declare a fast-track preference receive four times as many communication requests!

I found that interesting. And it definitely contradicted my own data set.

So, I tried to find out more about the basis for eHarmony's claim.

It was difficult to find - but one article finally made it clear.

It explained that people who declare a fast-track preference receive four times as many fast-track requests than the people who don't.

That's a big difference, in my opinion. And it doesn't contradict my old data.

Of course, my old data has it's weaknesses. The experiment was done over a year ago. I didn't have that many matches in the data set.

And, recently, at least one member of our Google Group has introduced a reasonable theory that certain personality types might respond better to fast-track than guided communcation. And has some data backing up his theory, at least in his case.

But eHarmony's statistic? It's just not relevant to most men, in my humble opinion.

I still hold to my belief - attractive women are flooded with communication requests. They don't have the time to read profiles attached to men who aren't showing interest. And it's much better to be guy #3 to request communication, rather than guy #40.

Again, if a woman seems worth talking to, I recommend initiating communication quickly. Don't wait for her to initiate.

Time is not on your side.

From the Labs: A "fast track" project update.

My fast-track experiment will need to go on a break for a little while.

Why? Well, I've made some major changes in my look. I shaved what was left of my hair, and grew a goatee. I think it's a great change (and a lot of people agree, including the 9 that I consult with on these things), but it's going to create a different set of eHarmony results. So, I need to go back and see what my guided communication statistics look like after making these changes.

How does the data look right now?

Well, again, I've had no matches who've ever stated that they prefer fast-track communication.

When I went with guided communication, 22 percent went to open communication. (Keep in mind, there are a lot of people who don't open for valid reasons - dead profiles, profiles who were out of my age range, profiles who lived too far away for me to consider, etc.)

In fast-track communication, that percentage dropped to 11 percent.

Unfortunately, I haven't gathered enough data to say whether that's a real difference - but the trend is pretty clear.

So, what are my interim recommendations?

Fast-track isn't totally unusable. Some women will respond. But you will probably have fewer responses. It is a faster way to get a woman through the system.

Furthermore, I can imagine that some readers may like to use fast-track as a screen. Some men might prefer the personality of a woman who would be responsive to a fast-track request. So, this might be a decent "screening device" for some.

The bottom line? If the fast-track appeals to you, go ahead and use it. It isn't the "kiss of death" that it used to be. But you need to know that you will probably have fewer women responding to your communication requests.

From the Labs: Progress report on the "Fast-Track" project.

Well, the fast-track experiments are continuing.

So far, it's impossible to draw conclusions about whether fast-track is superior to guided communication. I've only had about 20 matches since I started the experiments (my match rate is slow, due to my religious preferences), and I've only went to open communication with one less person than I'd have expected from guided communication. So, I've got nothing to draw conclusions about... yet.

But, yes, I can continue to say that some people are responding.

If you try this, I can give you a few notes on what to expect:

• So far, I haven't had a single match that said she'd prefer fast-track communication. That doesn't mean that they won't accept the fast-track. To me, it only suggests that they don't want fast-track requests from a million lovesick lamers.
• Yes, one of those contacts did result in a date. Unfortunately, she had just finished moving out of her ex-boyfriend's house... and the chemistry was conflicted. And I think she got hurt by my "let's be friends" offer. (And, yes, if it isn't obvious... she indicates a "guided communication" preference.)
  
• I get more closes due to "other".
• The usual response to the fast-track request is to ignore it. Only one woman declined the fast-track, and shuttled me to guided communication. (And then stopped responding.) If you don't show your picture, you can expect a picture request.
  

From the labs: Fast-track communication template

Okay, folks, for those of you who are braving the fast-track road... this is the message template series that's working best for me so far.

This is a three-letter sequence. Casual phrasing and social behavior are very important. Even more important than in letters written after a guided communication sequence.

Letter #1:
Begin with a salutation, thank her for agreeing to the fast track, saying that you feel this is a friendlier way to get to know each other. Close this paragraph with a light observe and challenge statement.

Open a new paragraph, ask one quick and easy question about something in the profile that intrigued you.

Letter's done. This should be very short.

Letter #2:
Give a salutation. Observe something she said or did in the last letter, and give her a funny, but minimal compliment. ("Glad to see you're not the type of girl who would [do something really silly]" would be a good one.)

Open a new paragraph, give one or two sentences that continue the conversational flow from her letter. Don't answer a lot of questions, try to leave open conversational hooks.

Next (your call as to whether this merits a new paragraph or not), ask a few questions that relate to the conversational flow. Three questions should be a pretty good number. These can be a little more "in-depth" than the one you asked in letter #1, but should still be friendly and conversational.

Close by mentioning some things you're doing in the next week that will be keeping you busy, tell her you're looking forward to talking some more.

Letter #3:
Ask for the number with letter #2 from my open communication template.

And there you go. Easy-breezy.

Maryann says:

Guys,

I have decided not to initiate Fast Track any more. Maybe it is a gender thing, but it seemed to backfire when I tried it. But, I must say, nobody has tried this template with me, and it looks great!

The eH guided communication gets really burdensome after a while. A guy with skills who tried this tack would look fresh and refreshing to me. Good luck! Please report your results if you try it!

From the Labs: The Fast-Track revisited

eHarmony's shift in advertising strategy has made me think, again, about how fast-track and guided communication may fit in a person's eHarmony strategy.

Over a year ago, when I first tested fast-track, eHarmony was following the "Come here to find the person you want to marry" marketing strategy. And, when women are subscribing to the site with the single-minded purpose of meeting their future husbands, they don't take kindly to a guy who tries to rush her process of evaluation. Causing me to post this article about using fast-track. In spite of the fact that I hadn't used fast track in over a year.

Well, in that year, the advertising strategy shifted. Now, eHarmony isn't emphasizing marriage in their advertisements. What they seem to be emphasizing now is the opportunity to meet people that you'll have effortless chemistry with, because of "deep compatability".

So, if people are coming to the site for effortless chemistry... maybe guided communication isn't the best start. Maybe.

On the other hand, many of the weaknesses of the fast track that I've pointed out in my original article still exist. But, I've been experimenting with modifying people's expectations of what the fast-track means... and, at this point, I can tell you that people are opening them.

I'm still experimenting with this process. At this point, I can't tell how many people will open fast-track for you. Or how many more or less will open fast-track than a guided communication request. But, if you were interested in fast-track communication, I can say that it is a usable option.

Here's what I'd suggest if you want to make the fast track work for you:

First of all, Have a GOOD profile. If people aren't opening communication with you right now, no fast-track strategy is going to be effective.

Next, in the final paragraph of your profile, set expectations. In my "call to action", this is what I'm doing right now:

• Setting the right expectations for fast-track. In an inviting (rather than a negative) tone, tell your prospective matches why you prefer fast-track communication to guided communication. Give a good reason other than impatience or desperation.
• Set guidelines for who you'll fast-track. Make her feel like she's done something to earn your fast-track request. Not enough to sell you on a date yet - but enough to earn the fast track.
• Talk about the fast-track as a different, and better way to get to know someone.

Again, this is still very much "in-the-labs" stuff.... I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

Where do fast tracks fit?

Hopefully, by this time, you're seeing how the eHarmony system can be used in your favor. By going through guided communication, you're forcing a woman to work for your continued interest.

You'll notice that I haven't talked much about using "Fast track".

That's because I almost never use it.

I've experimented with "fast track" offers during phase 1 and 2 of communication. I've never had anyone accept the fast track. Most of the time, they'll close.

When I talked with women about men who propose "fast track" this soon in the process - they hold a very dim view. They say that it shows that a guy isn't really all that interested in learning about them first. You look too needy, too eager, and too easy to please. And very few women will lower themselves to talking to a needy, desperate man.

Astute readers might ask, "Could you write a message that will make them know that you're not desperate? That you're just interested in talking like normal people instead of little eHarmony robots?"

I like that thinking. Unfortunately, the answer is still no.

The problem is... women can't read the message until they accept the fast track. So, your message will not make any difference. They'll reject you before they read it.

Other astute readers probably noticed something else.

I only talked about fast track during phases 1 and 2.

Can a fast track request fly during phase 3?

Yes. Your odds aren't 100%, but the odds are in your favor.

But, there's a catch.

Phase 3 is one of the most powerful weapons you have in building attraction. By asking skillful questions, you can create tension, display that you're a man with standards, and associate yourself with things that make her feel good.

And when you make a fast-track request... you're giving up that opportunity. And you're showing a little bit of overeagerness.

So, yes, they often accept the fast track request. But, because of that missed step, women will act flakier. They'll insist (or try to insist) on protracted email communication. They'll play hard to get. They'll flake out on dates.

Can it be worth it? Maybe for very special occasions. For example, if I'm in her town that day, leaving soon, and not planning to return for quite some time... it might make sense to hurry the process along.

But, otherwise... I prefer to stick to structured communication.

Mailbag: Fast Track, Echoes from the Blogosphere

It's time for another edition of the mailbag...

Our first writer asks:

"I've thought about starting with a fast track [...] What do you think?"

I've experimented with Fast Track. If it's given before closed-ended questioning, I've never had a positive response.

Obviously, I can't ask women why it didn't work. But I have some good guesses.

In part, this is due to the structure of eHarmony. Since eHarmony quickly figured out that members often used FastTrack requests to slip email addresses to nonmembers, they changed the Fast Track policy. Essentially, a woman, before reading what you have to say, has to decide whether or not to accept your invitation.

I think that many women, upon receiving a Fast Track this soon, begin to think that you're becoming overly friendly before you've had a chance to know them. It makes them uncomfortable.

On the other hand, if you're really in a rush, I've often been successful in initiating Fast Track before open-ended questioning. But I've also found that, when I do this, my odds of actually meeting them dropped. (Why? I'll explain when I begin to talk about open-ended questioning.)

Bottom line: Offering fast-track makes women feel less comfortable. Women already feel "attacked" by the average chumps who declare their infatuation before they've met... you can't afford to make yourself look like that.

... but if you decide to experiment, and find a way to make fast-tracks work, email me. I'll pass it on, and give you credit. (If you want it.)

Next, I'll cheat a little. This is actually from the blogosphere. It seems the eHarmony Blog has written this post about us...

Thanks for the publicity. I'm sure that you'll find us quite interesting.

But it does bring up some points, that I thought my readership might be interested in.

First of all, is this website "bait" for a future commercial product?

I haven't completely ruled out the creation of a product. But I find it very unlikely that I will.

At first, I thought of publishing my "system". Unfortunately, in my field testing, I found it's appeal to be very limited.

Average chumps desperately want to buy into the eHarmony line that you don't need to work on your "image", and that the great eHarmony computer will make it easy for them. And when they find that that theory doesn't work... they leave. So, most average chumps won't be interested in my book.

On the other hand, people who do buy "products" to improve their skills with women hate eHarmony. (The most influential rant can be found here. ) When they find that their bar or other online "techniques" don't work... they tend to run away.

So, my audience is limited. And my goal isn't to raise money. I'm financially very secure. My goal is to help the limited audience who will benefit from my experience.

The most efficient way to do that? Hide it a little bit... (hence the hoopty website), but if someone shows that they want it, give it away. So, here I am.

As far as this board being for men? Hell, yes. And I'll never apologize for it.

... And if you call self-confidence, self-value, respect, and honesty a "game", I'm all for it.