Tuesday, February 13, 2007

What are the best multiple-choice questions?

So, which multiple-choice questions should you choose to ask?

That depends on you, and what you're looking for.

Some of my readers may like relaxing at home most of the time, and want their partner to be equally comfortable with it. Others are more outgoing, and want their partners to be able to "play" with them. Some have intellectual criteria, others, more physical.

It's not my place to decide what you're looking for... but I can rate the strength of each of these questions.

So, let's sort through my criteria, and take a look at the multiple choice questions that are available to you.

In ascending order of goodness:

So bad, I wrote a blog entry describing how bad it is:
How important is chemistry to you?

Don't use - exposes your own insecurities:
Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?

Don't use - exposes "baggage" and takes matches to an "unhappy place":
If you had to characterize the end of most of your romantic relationships, they would be described as:
Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?
Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?
How important is it to you that your partner be accepted by your family and friends?

Avoid these questions - Asking too much, too soon:
Where do you see yourself living in 15 years?
If you were to marry, how many children would be ideal?

Avoid these questions - They imply bribes:
If you could take a dream getaway, where would you most likely choose to spend a week?

Steer away - May be too much of an "overtly romantic" bribe:
Your idea of a romantic time would be:
How romantic are you?

Don't use - brings matches to a "bad place", and, if they're talking to you, you're probably OK:
What is your opinion of committed long distance relationships?
What are your body-type preferences for your mate?

Harsh screens - use only if you're willing to generate ill will in order to screen someone out now:
Would you rather date someone who is: (busy, not busy)
What do you think of "Soul Mates"?
How trusting are you?
How do you feel about relocating for a relationship?
How do you feel about premarital sex?
Financially, how would you characterize yourself?
How would you assess your verbal intimacy skills?
What is your opinion on your mate having opposite sex friendships?
In a marriage, how would you feel if the woman made significantly more money than the man?

Dumb questions that may generate ill will:
If I had a bad day, what is the first thing you would do for me?

Dumb questions that provide no significant "screening":
With which sentence do you agree most? (avoiding/liking dangerous activities)

Decent "screens" that take most people to an unhappy place - use with great caution:
Which of the following scenarios would make you more nervous?
Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?
How much ongoing stress do you have in your life?
Realizing that labels are imperfect, do you consider yourself a dominant person in your personal life?
Outside of a romantic relationship, are you competitive?

Don't be afraid to use these, if you're selective in this regard:
If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?
How often do you lose your temper?
When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?
If you decided to stay at home for the evening, would you tend to:
How many books did you read last year?
When going somewhere: (usually early, on time, etc.)
What best describes your parents' relationship toward each other?
What best describes your attitude toward work?
Your idea of adventure is:
What kind of exercise do you prefer?
How many years have you lived alone?
Do you enjoy being alone?
How organized are you?
What is your opinion of traditional gender roles?
Do you consider yourself an ambitious person?
How do you feel about food?
How often do you find yourself laughing?
Do you enjoy debating the issues of the day with your partner?
How often do you exercise?
What's your philosophy on travel?
Are pets an important part of your life?

Happy questions that are still decent screens ("Filler" questions, not to be used exclusively):
Which of the following indoor activities sounds like the most fun to you?
On Saturday night, would you rather go to:
If you went out to eat with a friend, which of the following would you prefer?
What style of dress do you prefer?
Which of the following things would you rather have lots of?
Which sort of date sounds like the most fun to you?
Are you a passionate person?

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