Keys to answering those eHarmony Questions...

So, now that you know what questions to ask... you want to know how to answer her questions.

As usual, I'm going to start with describing principles before discussing specifics. So... here are my principles. (And read this link for review.)

The general rules:

• Unless a question is rude, insulting, or overinvasive... answer it without fear.
• When possible, take ownership of the answer... and turn it into your own test.
• Answer honestly. Why waste time with someone who isn't going to like who you really are?
• Don't go into romantic mush.
• Don't make compliments, or "hit" on her. At best, indicate mild, but suspicious interest.
• Make your answers congruent with your profile, and everything else that she knows about you.
• If you have a sense of humor or wit... use it. But don't try too hard.
• Test, but never insult.

For multiple-choice questions:

• If a question is a true choice (such as "would you rather do... A, B, or C), don't create a new option. She may see this as trying to evade your question.
• If it's not a "forced choice", feel free to write your own answer.
• If you can demonstrate your personality in a "fill in the blank"... it's a good thing.

For open-ended questions:

• Answer casually. Use good grammar and spelling, but make the tone conversational. Smile while you write it.
• Don't write book-length answers. In fact, a long paragraph is probably too much. You don't want to look like you're trying hard to answer the question. Rule of thumb: go into slightly less detail than she did in completing her profile questions.
• Only write enough to answer the question, and say something interesting that she may ask a follow-up question about.
• I'll say it again... DON'T HIT ON HER. No "bribes". If you feel like you must comment on similarities, make it a very tepid one. (For example, ending a "physical activities you enjoy" answer with, "You seem pretty active though, so I don't think this would be a problem for us...") And no romantic mush ever. You must answer as if you still haven't decided whether you like her or not.

Okay, I'm actually going to peel off the veil, and give you examples of the ways that I answer some questions. Soon.