I don't write these answers for you to copy. In fact, please don't. They reflect my preferences and my personality. If you copy my answers,you're going to look like me. And when they meet you on the date, and act differently than I do... you're asking for problems.
They're meant to demonstrate my earlier points. Don't copy my answers. Instead note how I do the following:
- Give a nondefensive answer to the question. (Unless it's offensive.)
- Express unsureness if she's meeting my standards, when possible.
- (Not an absolute requirement, but VERY good if you can pull it off) Expresses this unsureness in a playful way. The more unsureness I express, the more playfully I express it.
- Displays no anger or resentment.
- The answers are (or at least seem to be) off the cuff and conversational.
So... here are some samples.
"When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?"
In a respectful relationship, this works itself out. My needs aren't large, but aren't absent...
"How important is chemistry to you?"
If the chemistry isn't there quickly... there's usually a reason.
"If you were to marry, how many children would be ideal?"
Asking to bear my children already? I DO want them, but this is fast...
"Your idea of a romantic time would be:" / "How romantic are you?"
Real romance is in the way you treat each other every day.
"Would you rather date someone who is:" (busy, not busy)
I take care of myself fine, but if you're too busy for me to get to know you...
"Do you consider yourself physically affectionate when involved in a relationship?"
In private, absolutely. In public, 'ya gotta moderate it. (Hugs at a funeral good. Making out at a funeral bad.)
"If I had a bad day, what is the first thing you would do for me?"
If you've earned my affection, I'd try to do what makes you feel better.
"Are pets an important part of your life?"
I like pets, but, as a busy single guy, would feel too guilty to own one...
"What is your opinion on your mate having opposite sex friendships?"
Friends are good. Cheating is bad. Common sense, really...
"What is your opinion on premarital sex?"
Close match. Anyone who would ask this question sees sex VERY differently than I do.
3 comments:
"What is your opinion on premarital sex?"
Close match. Anyone who would ask this question sees sex VERY differently than I do.
Care to explain your thinking here?
Yesterday a woman asked me this question. It surprised me to get it. My first thought was she was trying to eliminate guys who would NOT have pre-marital sex.
Are you one of those guys?
I (truthfully) answered "it's ok in a loving relationship" and she same day advanced to open-questions... so if it was a test, i passed it.
This seems such an obvious screening question but it can go both ways (either guys who are too easy or too prudish).
Is it possible you are jumping to the wrong conclusion when you close matches?
To be honest - I've never actually received this question.
Again, I never meant for these "answers" to be cut and pasted. They're examples. They fit me well. But they're examples of the self-confidence that gets people noticed in this process. (Especially compared to the wishy-washy answers of the typical desperate guy.) And, yes, a confident guy should be ready, willing, and able to close a match if he doesn't like what he's seeing.
For me? Sex is natural and spontaneous. And if a woman is asking this question, it indicates that she's not like-minded. (She's either inhibited, or she's overplanning.)
It's the right answer for me. But it may not be the right answer for you.
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