Yep, I'm deadlocked with yet another match.
Although she's asked some really detailed "Phase 3" questions, she still hasn't revealed her photos. Until now, she's been eager to respond to every question. Within hours.
Now, I've sent a photo nudge, and haven't heard from her in quite some time.
And, here... I've gotta shake my head.
It is a common refrain in the dating world. The feeling that you can't find a girlfriend because of some "flaw".
You're short.
You're overweight.
Your nose is crooked.
Whatever.
Well, the problem is, by saying this, you're revealing that you have TWO problems.
One is the "problem" that you're talking about. (And, if it's possible to fix - think about it. It may be what you need to fix the second problem.)
The second? You're showing a lack of confidence.
And that's a major turn-off.
The fact is - "model-perfect" matches are rare. And, if a woman is signing onto eHarmony, she's at least somewhat of the belief that a guy's personality is important. (If not... why sit through a 300 question personality questionnaire?)
But, a lack of confidence? Now you've got internal problems. Not external ones.
So, if you've got a "flaw"? Don't draw more attention to it than you need to.
Don't apologize. Don't hide.
And if she's got a problem with it? Make it her problem. Not yours.
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1 comment:
As a woman, it looks like you lack confidence if you don't post a photo. i get 10 matches and only 2 have photos. i request a photo and don't get a response. my photo is posted and yes i want to see a photo. i have communicated without a photo also and it hasn't worked. i feel you are trying to hide something if you don't post a photo
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