When nerds write profiles...

When nerds are having difficulty attracting women's attention on eHarmony it can be alarming.

It can bring a nerd back to the bad old days. They days when they were socially awkward. And socially shunned.

And, suddenly, when they go to edit their profile, they think of themselves as the unlikable child that they were in middle school.

Which, in a way, is a strange thing.

Most nerds thrive in their adulthood. They have interesting accomplishments and achievements. They do things in their spare time that can capture people's interest and imagination. And these are great things to incorporate in your profile - whether it's the pride you have in your latest invention (and how it's going to help other people), your travels to places that other people wouldn't think of visiting, or a new exotic dish or type of music that just caught your attention.

But, when a nerd starts to feel like that awkward child, they often stop talking about the interesting, accomplished adult that they've become, and start talking about the awkward child, instead.

Unfortunately, the awkward child makes for a bad profile. It says that you're emotionally stuck in the past, and implies that you're having difficulties living your life now as an adult.

So, drop the baggage from your profile.

Don't talk about your social anxieties and fears. Everyone has them. Nerds, and non-nerds alike. To become a successful adult, you've had to face those fears in the past. And you'll continue to do so. Take pride in that. But don't put it in the profile.

Also, back in high school, there were a lot of things that nerds would do in order to identify fellow-nerds who might make decent friends. While the cool kids were talking about rock bands, clothes, and who-dated-who, nerds tend to share knowledge that identified them as members of the "nerd tribe". Things like comic books, role-playing games, computers, science fiction, and so forth.

Now, if you ran into a female profile that focused on their obsession with an '80s band, the fact that they were their school's homecoming queen 20 years ago, and the "cool" fashion labels that they wore... you'd probably wonder about their maturity.

And women are going to ask the same questions about you, if you dwell on your "geeky" interests. They'll worry that they'll get stuck on a date with an awkward teenager, rather than an interesting, intelligent, and self-assured adult.

So, stop. And concentrate your profile on what you've become as an adult.

Not what you were in high school.

Believe me, they'll figure it out. We'll come to that tomorrow.