Thursday, September 27, 2007

Why do you "need" a successful outcome?

Over the time that I've been working at this blog, and listening to other people's stories, I've noticed one thread that's really hurting people's self-worth, and, yes, their "success" on eHarmony.

It's the feeling that you must get a good outcome. The feeling that you need a woman to respond. Or to move to the next level of the relationship that you want.

Well, when you feel this way, women notice it. Very quickly. And it makes them uncomfortable.

Why?

Because men who let their self-worth be determined by whether a relative strangers like them are fatally flawed, in their eyes. Very few women want to be in a relationship where their boyfriend's self-esteem depends on their moment-to-moment opinion. Frankly, very few women want that drama in their lives. And the few that do tend to like it because they feel that such a "man" is easily controlled.

So... break the cycle.

Find what makes you feel good outside of a relationship. And rely on those things for your self worth.

Don't let it depend on your dating "success".

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