One of my more controversial speculations has been my observation that I seem to get more matches when my list is empty. Members of the google group have had, at best, mixed opinions about whether this observation is true. And, of course, eHarmony denies it - but they also state many things that seem untrue. (For example, that hitting "find more matches" will result in no more matches than just waiting for new ones to arrive. For me, and members of the google group, this seems to be untrue.)
But, for those who want to experiment with keeping an emptier match list, the question arises - how do you close a match politely, when the relationship has already moved to phone and email?
Here's the way I do it. And so far, it hasn't created any problems.
After you've had your first phone conversation, and your date is set, wait at least one day.
Next, fire off a quick email, leaving the pleasantry that you enjoyed talking to her, and letting her know some details about the date (for example, the address of the place you're meeting each other, how to identify you, etc.)
In that letter, go ahead and mention that, since you've got each other's phone numbers and email addresses, that eHarmony communication seems kinda silly or cumbersome. And end the note with an invitation for pre-date banter, if you wish.
After the note is sent, go ahead and close her, with the reason, "We're communicating outside of eHarmony."
... It's really that simple. And it's never created a problem for me.
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