From the labs: Ask about what's missing!

So, you've met a woman on eHarmony... but you're hitting the wall in coming up with interesting Step 3 questions to ask.

Sometimes, a woman can seem intriguing, but put up very little material.

And, once again, you can turn that weakness into your asset.

Think about the things that you WANT to know about her... the things that make her feel good, but, for whatever reason, she hasn't talked about so far.

If someone puts up an "I'm so serious about social causes" profile... ask about her indulgences.

If all they talk about is their child... ask what they like to do when they get away.

Sometimes, women need a gentle nudge to remind them about these aspects of their personality. By asking these questions, you're showing attention, interest, and selectivity. And you're implying that you're also affiliated with their "fun" side. And women feel good when they answer questions like these.

And if they can't answer the question... do you really want to meet such a one-dimensional woman?

QuirkyGirl Says:
Whenever I get stock questions from one of my matches, I think he is either unimaginative, lazy, or just not interested enough to come up with more meaningful questions that make me feel like he's making an effort to get to know me. Find something in your match's profile that you can ask her a follow-up question about to show her you're paying attention and not just going through the motions. Here are a couple of my favorites:

It sounds like you not only do many things, but you do them all well. What's your secret for balancing professional life, personal achievement, and having fun? (My thoughts: Wow, he thinks I'm talented and wants to know more.)

Why did you choose to go into ________? Is it something you always wanted to do? (My thoughts: He understands my career is important to me and wants to understand why I choose to do what I do.)

What makes you smile like a little girl on Christmas morning, feel really loved, curls your toes? (My thoughts: He's interested in understanding what makes me feel completely satisfied in a relationship.)