One tricky application of the bribe principle? Giving compliments.
They can be tricky. Too much superficial flattery puts you in a bribe zone... but too little, and you're in sour grapes territory.
So, what are some guidelines?
Don't put her on a pedestal
Don't go too far, too soon. On the first date (or before), it's way too early to write epic love poetry, make mix tapes, or show adoration. Gestures like these are reserved for people who have had a long history together. When you're really in love (or at least in infatuation) with her, and she's in love with you.
Before that time? It's showing that you have absolutely no standards. That you'll fall in love with anyone who shows some interest. Even if you don't know the other person yet.
It's bad. Very very bad. Don't do it.
Give compliments... when they're earned.
When you're meeting, it is okay to sprinkle a few compliments - when you see something specific that you like.
But be specific.
"Wow! You look great!" isn't specific. It sounds like something you'd say to anyone as an ingratiation. If she's a 6 or below, it may provide reassurance (more about that later), but to a 7 or above, she's thinking, "Great. Another guy who's giving me too much credit for my looks."
On the other hand, when you say, "That's an interesting colored purse - I like it", it shows a little more. It shows that you're paying attention. You're being specific. You're not giving away all of your power. You're just saying that you thought it was interesting.
If she brings up a topic that's interesting... it's perfectly okay to say so.
Remember - if you give a complement, it must be both genuine and earned.
And if she accepts, say, "You're welcome". Don't linger on the subject.
Reassuring compliments
Every once in awhile, a woman will fish for a complement.
It means she's a little insecure. And refusing to comment on the subject will probably make her uncomfortable in advancing further.
Simple things like, "So... do I look okay?"
Just be honest, brief, and reassuring. Enough to let her know that she's okay, and you're ready for a different subject.
Don't dwell on the subject. Heck, if you feel like it, you can tease her a little bit after providing that reassurance.
Keep things in proportion
The generousness of your compliments needs to match where you are in your budding relationship.
If you're still online, you should show wariness when giving compliments. You haven't really met her. You don't know if she's really as good as she advertises. Therefore, compliments in the vein of "You seem...", or "Hey, if you're really...." should be about the furthest you should go.
On the first few dates, isolated things that interest or intrigue you are fine.
Again, grander compliments should be reserved for people you know well.
Quirky Girl Says:
The worst thing you can do is to lay it on thick at the beginning of a relationship. Women see straight through false flattery. When I get effusive compliments from a guy I've only just met in person or emails telling me how wonderful I am from guys I've had little interaction with, it comes across as very insincere, shallow, and sometimes even calculating. I always think to myself, "You don't know me. How can you possibly think that? Do you say this to all the women you date?" Women want you to take the time to get to know and appreciate them. They want to feel special, not like you're methodically going through a list of compliments that have worked before on other women.
Compliments that work on me are usually geared toward some specific achievement. For example, I recently had someone say to me on a date, "I saw that you are a black belt and was impressed. What style of martial arts do you train in?" This compliment worked on me because it was very specific, seemed genuine, and gave me the opportunity to talk about something I care about. Compliments on appearance are nice to hear as well as long as they aren't too aggressive or crude and as long as you don't gush. For example, saying something like "Blue looks nice on you" shows that you think the woman looks good without being crass or over-the-top.
Above all, only say what you mean. If you try to fake it, a smart woman will know.
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