Introverted? Or anxious?

A lot of the people who come to this site for inspiration are introverts.

That makes a lot of sense. eHarmony is attractive to introverts. And some introverts see themselves as being "abnormal", or socially awkward.

The funny thing is... introverts don't have to be anxious, or socially awkward.

As one of my old psychology teachers said, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert isn't one of social capability or competence. The difference is how you draw your energy.

Extroverts draw their energy from how other people see and react to them. They're the ones who feel great when the audience applauds, or when they're recognized for their work. They feel energized when they're at parties, socializing with others. It's where they get the most satisfaction.

Introverts draw their energy from themselves, and their own thought processes. Many great actors are actually introverts. They don't live for the limelight. They live for the process. They love to explore their role, and take satisfaction in the successful building of their inner world. Introverts can be very socially competent, but, at the end of a party, they feel drained - not energized. Because introverts draw satisfaction by meeting their internal challenges.

So, you may have been labelled an introvert, or an extrovert. The label is fine. It can help you understand where your energy comes from.

But... being an introvert does not doom you to a life of social inadequacy or anxiety.

And social anxiety is a universal problem. Both for introverts and extroverts.

We'll talk more about managing your anxiety tomorrow.