A man of accomplishment? It don't mean jack!

On an (otherwise unexceptional) eHarmony date a few weeks ago, I'd thrown out one of my usual conversation topics - our eHarmony experiences. Due to a bit of luck, use of the fast-track, and the eHarmony blog script, I was the first guy she actually met since rejoining the service. However, she did mention one thing that made me think.

Her comment? "I'm sure getting matched to a lot of doctors and lawyers."

Of course. It should have been obvious. After all, she had a Master's degree, and eHarmony seems to give a lot of weight to educational status in it's matching algorithm.

I just never thought of what it was like from a woman's perspective.

But, for some men (fortunately, not me), this fact can change your strategy.

Outside of eHarmony, being a "man of accomplishment" is still a pretty weak way to impress a woman. Because, the way most guys use it, it's a bribe.

But in eHarmony, it doesn't even serve as a signal of high value. Because, if women are getting lots of people with advanced degrees and high-powered careers because of their own educational status... you're not going to separate from the pack that way. In fact, you're probably competing with people who are more accomplished than you are. And that makes your "bragging" look downright pathetic.

Again, it comes down to core principles.

Men of accomplishment are common on eHarmony.

Confident, fearless, and intriguing men... they're rare.

Quirky Girl Says:
Scott hit the nail on the head. My experience is much like his date's experience. I have a Master's degree and am in a healthy income bracket thanks to my career. Who do I get matched up with? C-level execs, doctors, lawyers, business owners, and apparently all the single men at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. (Not that I mind, of course.)

But I confess that this fortuitous matching has caused me to revert to a selection process influenced greatly by early-childhood techniques--I look at all the pretty pictures while the profile text fades into the background (to a point). You see, I already know what the profile says; I've read it all before. I know that if this rocket scientist doesn't work out, there's an astronomer right behind him who may pique my interest. After a while, they start to look the same.

We're likely "competing" against others with similar accomplishments for the same matches. Who you are on paper is interesting, but it's what's not on paper that really makes you fascinating. A rocket scientist who brags about himself all night bores me, but a rocket scientist who can make me laugh with his witticisms rocks my world. I've been pleasantly surprised by how down-to-earth some of the men I've dated are and turned off by the ones who love themselves a little too much for there to be room for me.

My advice: Be proud of your accomplishments--don't hide them--but don't rely on them to impress your date. Instead, show her how multi-dimensional and captivating you are. Show her what makes you uniquely you--that's how you'll stand apart from your competition.