So... You're at phase zero - where both of you are just trying to figure out whether you're even likeable or not.
Good news? This stage can go very quickly. And really doesn't have to be overthought. You either enjoy each other's company... or you don't. Yes, there are PUA "tricks" to navigate this phase, but, in the end, I don't like using them. Why would I want to get closer to someone I'm not really liking?
You're both guarded. You're not really in a relationship yet. Nor should you act that way.
The first date? Should be an activity where you're going to have fun. It should be a test for her - to see if she'll enjoy the same things you do. And you should spend no more money than you would for an afternoon's entertainment. So little, in fact, that you don't feel like you've wasted money, if the date doesn't go well.
Establishing touch? It's a gambit at this point. On one hand, you show that you're warm and comfortable with touch. On the other hand, it keeps your touch from being "special" or "earned" by something she did. She considers your casual touch to be something that's given to anyone. This can be both a good and bad thing. Personally, I wait before giving anything more than a friendly smile and handshake. But I know many others who don't.
Discussion of "relationship topics"? Premature at this point - you don't even know if you like each other yet, much less whether you want to get into a relationship! Don't bring them up. If she brings them up, be cocky and funny in a way that implies that she's going way too fast, or asks if she's really ready for what she's asking about. (Not that answering the question is out of the question - but she should be put in her place before answering.)
When do you know when you've navigated this phase? If she starts talking about thing she'd like to do. Or she agrees to switch to another venue. Or talks about spending more time, or having another date.
But, if you're not having a good time... cut it short. Don't try to attract people who you aren't having any fun with. It's just silly to spend more time with someone who's like that.
Phase 1 is next - another mild milestone...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
This is pretty good - might seem obvious in retrospect but I find myself seeing some of the "signs" you mention.
It's been a good (and timely) angle to cover this week.
Post a Comment