To the beginner, things look great. Until he tries to call her the next day, and the woman refuses to return his phone calls.
The problem? Although she got swept up in the moment, the time alone made her realize that she didn't know that much about the guy. She starts to freak out - and decides it's best to stay away.
Can something like this happen online?
Yes. And very easily.
Email provides a very safe forum for a woman. She can develop a fantasy world, and develop fantasy images of what you're like. She can appear however she wants. She can be as fun, flirty, and saucy as she wants. And if the conversation stays in email, it's all going to be perfectly safe.
The trouble is, when you propose moving away from email, that artificial sense of safety disappears.
And she's very likely to be scared of what you'll expect when you meet outside of email. And, in the end, she's more likely to run away from you (in real life) than meet you.
So, what can you do to prevent this?
- If she's even slightly interested in you, move to the phone, and set the date. Don't try to seduce anyone online.
- Don't have extended email conversations. If you stay low-key, and stick to the elements that I suggested in my Open Communication templates, you should be able to get a phone number quickly.
- If she's running hot, don't escalate. Stay confident that she'll meet you on the date. Write her only enough to reassure her that you're not a jerk. Playfully let her know that you're not so sure about her... yet. It's safer to meet someone who's unsure about you, than someone who's going to maul you as soon as you meet.
- And if she's running hot... Skip the pre-date banter games. These build interest. But when you've got high interest/low comfort, this step will compound the problem.
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