Ask harder questions, get better answers? Not always!

In my "guided communication" advice, I've stressed the need to remain a challenge. And a need to ask questions that will make her think, and work for your approval.

But being a challenge doesn't mean that you need to be hard-nosed, agenda-oriented, or mean. In fact, it's better if you aren't.

"But," you may ask, "I want to ask the hard questions now. It's the best way to get information, right?"

Probably not.

In my last set of open-ended questioning, I learned a lot from my most recent match. That she's not that observant. That she's been having pizza cravings, and what places have the best pizza (in her opinion) near her. That she has a doberman and a donkey, what their names are, and what stupid pet trick she'd like to stage with them. And a little bit about her family (even though I didn't ask).

And I've got a lot of things to talk about when I send my first message.

But if I asked "agenda-oriented" questions? She would have probably opened up less. I'd have probably learned that she wants a respectful relationship (doesn't everyone?), and got some generic phrases as to why she's a good relationship partner. I know - because I used to ask these questions a lot.

And, you know what? I get more information, thought, and "try hard" effort when when a woman feels good than when she feels like I'm pushing a relationship at her.

Try it out. And let me know how it works for you.